25 Random Things About Rob Harford

The current Facebook meme that has swept the Interwebs is the "25 Random Things About Me." It allows all those who choose to accept this mission in minutiae to share a quarter-century worth of facts to all those who know them online, whether it be their spouse or some kid they punched on the playground in the third grade. I have found these exercises in creativity to be good reads, as it forces people to be at their most random.

And everyone knows that Comedy's address is the Random House.

I was prepared to pen one of my own a few days ago, but than a blogging confidant wrote a counter argument to spreading popularity of this effort. I quote Rob Harford:

"This is a slight overreaction, but someone needs to say it. Why do I keep seeing these stupid "25 things about me" or "random songs on my playlist" notes all over the place on facebook lately?!?!?!Do you really find it that hard to express yourself that you need to do one of these lists?"

Harford goes on to make the case for people to tell stories, write effective arguments, and use creativity and depth. In essence, he's writing a prescription for more blogging. And while YAB has subscribed to these Points of Rob, we can still see the need for random lists such as the ones that have spread like wildfire. We live in America, Rob, and America's busy. We have little time for your old-world values like "exposition," "story development," and "paragraphs." Damn it, we need bullet points. If you don't have bullet points, then the terrorists have already won.

But as a tribute to the man who is willing to speak out against conformity, I hereby give you:

25 Random Things About Rob Harford

(note: I made up 5 of them. Let's see if you can guess which ones.)

1. His name is an acronym for Harbor Ford, an auto dealer in Englewood, FL.

2. Once played the role of "Joe Brescia" in Shawnee Group's unfinished Mafia Movie.

3. His whereabouts are perpetually unknown to Jasen Andersen.

4. Once had (and may still have) calves the size of chickens.

5. His favorite John Cusack movie is Must Love Dogs.

6. Is just waiting for the perfect moment to propose to Jennifer Love Hewitt.

7. Is a better Black Friday shopper than you will ever be.

8. Sneezes uncontrollably anytime someone says the word "Portugal."

9. Insists I'm hoarding a Hi-8 videotape of a DE camping trip.

10. Has based his Mafia innocence on the premise that he once had porn on his person.

11. Once had to adhere to a work dress code that involved a Hawaiian shirt.

12. Once ran a 110 High Hurdle Race in 14.5 seconds against Cherokee.

13. Is a nationally-ranked speed walker.

14. Has been known to bail out Chris Smith when Chris Smith offers to buy breakfast for everyone and then realizes he didn't bring his wallet.

15. Cried uncontrollably when Louie's grandmother died on the 90's cartoon "Life with Louie."

16. Drove my sister to high school every day for a year.

17. Had Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat hair.

18. Went against my advice and once was a member of Blockbuster's crappy online rental program.

19. The worst movies he has ever seen is The Fountain.

20. One of the best is Shaun of the Dead.

21. Was an extra in Starship Troopers 3: Back to the Minors.

22. Beat a man to death in Reno with a frisbee at dawn.

23. Shares a birthday with Maggie Gyllenhaal.

24. This does not make him Batman.

25. Will likely exact his revenge after he sees this.