The Resolute 59

Looking back in the archives, I haven't been one for New Year's Resolutions. I've been one for grammatical variances, I've been one for statistical reflection, and at a complete lack of ideas for novel change, I'm sure I've been one for closing the daily blogging gap. The Second Coming of YAB looks back at those efforts fondly, but finds them devoid of any actual commitment to change.

So for 2009, we stop hiding behind creative prose and comedic devices and actually lay out this list of New Years' Resolutions. Since we're only 19 hours into 2009, it's probably not too late to compile a compendium of wishful thoughts and pipe dreams. Let's get our list on.

1. Come up with a better name than the Second Coming of YAB. Writing is hard enough; I don't need a God complex on my watch.
2. Put up decorative shelving in the master bath and a dome light in the master bedroom. And thus, vanquish the dreaded "Punchlist Projects."
3. Wait. That was two. Ok, the dome light is number 3.
   
4. Go through my clothes and donate to a worthy cause. Or at the very least, an unworthy cause with convenient collection locales.
5. Prevent all people I know from using 0-Ten for a shortened version of the year 2010. That's not gonna fly.
6. Document on paper or blog something on witnessing the first Philly sports championship since I was 3.
7. Lose a total number of pounds that correspond with the jersey number of a kicker or single-digit quarterback.
8. Do my part to make Melt Your Face-Off a Top 3 Hockey Blog on the Internets.
9. Not break a single pair of sunglasses.
10. Retroactively get hooked on Friday Night Lights.
11. Retroactively watch every episode of The West Wing for the first time.
12. Avoid any further wagers as to whether or not a friend or colleague is potentially pregnant. I'm folding my hand on that one for now.
13. Own and read 4 biographies of former United States Presidents.
14. Cut together the funniest Oscar Video yet, leaving only emergency reshoots for Oscar weekend.
15. Document in every way possible the ever-evolving childhood of Clara Grace.
16. Make sure she's a lefty.
17. Lose a total number of pounds that correspond with the jersey number of a wide receiver too cool to wear a number in the eighties.
18. Finally watch Schindler's List and Chariots of Fire, two Best Pictures I've owned for years and never watched.
19. Reward those who have Dethroned the King over the last two years with proper prizes and accolades.
20. Drive an Audi.
21. Drive a Volkswagen.
22. Daydream about driving a Bugatti.
23. Expand my prowess in the sports blogging community.
24. Teach Clara Col. Jessup's "You Can't Handle the Truth" monologue from a Few Good Men.
25. Remember people's birthdays.
26. Buy Katie flowers for no apparent reason at least three times this year.
27. Organize my mp3s, and once and for all decide what my favorite song is.
28. Organize my DVDs, and once and for all decide what my favortie movie is.
29. See a Flyers game at the Wachovia Center.
30. Return some dinner invitations for once and host friends here in Centreville.
31. Abolish the phrase "cool beans" in all circles of communication.
32. Replace my cell phone.
33. In the spirit of Mookie, name my work laptop.
34. Lose a total number of pounds that correspond with the jersey number of a defensive back or running back.
35. Run a six minute mile.
36. Not die after running a six minute mile.
37. Teach Clara either calculus or how to ride a tricycle.
38. Begin learning German.
39. Not allow laundry to pile up in front of my dresser.
40. Go skiing.
41. Attend Guys Trip VIII.
42. Occasionally cross-post at The Virginia Condons.
43. Visit a new state.
44. Wear a watch.
45. Learn to cook ribs on the grill.
46. Make it to the CAN Final Four in softball come August.
47. Lose a total number of pounds that correspond a number greater than my age.
48. Take Katie out to a nice dinner.
49. Cook Katie a nice dinner.
50. Win some free food by throwing my business card in the fishbowls of local dining establishments.
51. Convince one friend or family member to drive a Volkswagen or Audi.
52. See Number 50, Mom.
53. Meet another member of our MYFO Staff in person.
54. Go to a concert at Wolf Trap.
55. Lose this number of pounds.
56. Keep my leased cars immaculate in presentation.
57. Find a Wawa within an 8 mile radius of my house.
58. Get paid to blog.
59. End this list on a random, unexpected number.