Wreath Wrath

eth-ics – noun - The rules or standards governing the conduct of a person or the conduct of the members of a profession.

From time to time we’ve evaluated ethical behavior in the name of comedy, and based on our readership, it seems we consider ethical behavior to be rather important. However, we also value a good laugh, probably more, which is when ethics gets booted to the back of the bus. In 2005, you all decided I my fishing methods were ok in your book. And last October, everyone was fine with swallowing their whistles when I witnessed someone drop a Dew and return it to the rack.

You’re my kind of people.

However, today’s ethics lesson is not one of moral standing vs. comedy. Instead, it’s moral standing vs. good taste. Indulge me if you will.

I have a co-worker who I’ve alluded to before here on YAB. Since that post, she’s done a number of things that were worthy of standalone blogs, but I’ve sided with other material everytime the moment has struck. My personal favorite was when she volunteered to clean our kitchen (which actually wasn’t dirty), and then put up a laminated, full-color sign on the fridge that read, “Your kitchen is clean courtesy of Dwight Schrute. Be sure to thank him next time you see him!!!”

* - Yes, Dwight used three exclamation points.
* - No, that’s not my co-worker’s real name. That would be an ungodly coincidence.

Anyways, Dwight is always looking for ways to add his personal touch to our office, in order for it to look as professional, orderly, and decorative as possible. Now I feel that every employee signs an unwritten contract (they sign with invisible ink) that one should try and keep their workspace tidy, but Schrute goes the extra mile. Aside from cleaning the kitchen in hopes of future praise, this person has organized our cabinets, sorted the coffee, and dusted all finger prints off of all filing cabinets everywhere. Schrute once asked me, “How can you stand these finger prints all over this filing cabinet?”

For one, I have nothing in that filing cabinet. For two, it’s located a good twenty feet from my office. For three, I’m not in therapy.

But all in all, I can ignore Dwight Schrute, and we can both co-exist. However, since I’m a Finance Analyst, guess who he has to come to with accounting-related questions?

The premise was simple. Dwight had bought some fake “greenery” to spruce up the office on his personal credit card. He was seeking reimbursement for the company, since the “greenery” benefits all. He did not seek prior approval to purchase this “greenery” on the office’s behalf from his manager, therefore raising the question on whether or not he is rightfully owed the cash for the “greenery.” Said cash? It would come out of my budget.

Let’s put this in real world terms. You have a friend who thinks they know what kind of music you like. Because of this person’s confidence, they go ahead and buy you a front row seat. So just like that, you’ve got a ticket for April 3rd at the Wachovia Center. Enjoy the Pussycat Dolls, sucker.

Now after the show’s over – which you stomached because there was a rumor that the Flyers were going to cross-check the ‘Dolls – this friend comes back and says she needs money for the ticket. Wha???

That’s how it is with the “greenery.” By now you might be wondering why each time I mention these new communal office wreaths, I’ve put “greenery” in quotes. You see, I was raised to believe greenery should be green.

Not horribly brown and ugly.

So, ethicsmongers, Dwight Schrute doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on because of lack of prior approval to spend office funds. However, I could be the nice guy and help him and his wreaths out ($40? Really???) But should I punish him for a complete lack of taste?

Oh, I think so. Do you?