The Snow Princess

Something big will happen in the life of Clara Condon today.

How do I know this? The girl likes to make an entrance, and for some reason, she’s tapped “driving snow” as her entrance theme. I have no problem with this – she’s just showing me that she has daddy’s sense of humor. She’s being raised in a town where people go DEFCOM RUN FOR YOUR LIVES at the mere mention of fluffy, white precipitation. There will come a time in elementary school where Clara will have to give a book report (probably The Polar Express) in front of the class and she’ll find a way to make it snow inside the classroom.

That’s the difference between an A and an A-plus, kiddo.

As I sit here typing up this post, my window reveals that we’ve got somewhere between 1 and 2 inches of snow on the ground. I can’t imagine it’s going to accumulate much more than that, but I assume anything is possible when your local weather people are less for the nerdy and more for the pretty. Schools will probably begin closing prematurely shortly. You know, because there’s nothing better for snow traffic than working parents rushing out of their places of work in order to be home when their kids arrive in 40 minutes, and it’s going to take Mach 1 speed to ensure a smooth delivery.

Clara’s just biding her time.

You see, the girl has a history of using snow to mark important milestones in her life. On the day she was born, DC received a solid 4-6 inches of snow. Of course, I didn’t have to drive in it – our 2:30 AM arrival time to the hospital JUST preceded the impending flurries, and our 72 hours stay gave Mother Nature just enough time to defrost the highways and melt the snow off of our car. The storm came and went, and all the while Clara spent her time inside a hospital wondering why it’s so much colder on the outside, and who’s the tall freak who insists on rocking her like she’s on a Viking ship.

Even before that, many of the womenfolk in the area wished to celebrate Clara’s arrival by throwing Katie a shower. The venue was in Manassas, and true to form, the snow and ice came down mere hours before the festivities were to begin. Many had to turn back that day and miss out on the party – the vehicles of this region are ill-equipped to drive in Zambonied conditions. (I spent the day slip-sliding in Caro’s Civic.) Why did this happen on this particular day? My guess is that if left people show up, that’s more cake for Katie. And more cake for Katie means more cake for Clara. I’m onto you.

But even for those who missed the shower, surely they’d be able to attend Clara’s first big public party: Oscar Party IV. Putting together an Oscar Party in 10 days is not easy, and having an 8 pound, 12 ounce baby in one arm whilst coordinating the rest proved to be a challenge. Fortunately, Katie granted me the leave to film this year’s video. But when it was time for the curtain to go up? Snow everywhere. Apparently, Clara didn’t this year’s films. I can’t blame her. Babel was overrated.

So as the snow continues to come down, I can’t help but think that Clara’s at home right now planning something huge. Walking across the room, at this point, seems too simplistic, based on the amount of white falling from the sky. Knowing her, it’ll be a show-stopper.

Like conversational French.