Back on November 11th, YABNews beat CNN, FoxNews, and E! to the presses with our dramatic re-telling of how Rob Harford gave Karl Marx a swift kick in the pants and sent he and his ideals of communism on their way. A miraculous diplomatic struggle, coupled with a fresh coat of paint later, Rob took his blog to the Land of the Free, on Veteran’s Day no less. For the past ~300 days, he has brought the funny under the name “America Needs Blog.” Well, after a tercentenary of days, the Red Bull-fueled monkeys that Rob keeps in his backpack of cool have gotten their act together to produce a sense of American Pride, Harfordian-style.
Since I’m friends with one of his helper-monkeys (I think Rob named that one Gamblor), I threw the little guy a banana in order to obtain an advance copy of the official national anthem of “america the blog-iful.” Rob, in honor of the occasion (the song, not my underground banana bartering), has re-named the blog appropriately. Enjoy.
O blogiful for Boredom’s eyes,
Rob aims to entertain,
With tales of hiring foreign guys
And Burger King’s insane!
America! America!
Rob will answer the call
On Vegas blokes and quota jokes
I’m a Yam, and that’s all!
O Batman, who Rob strives to be.
A hero from above,
Can soar through skies to snag the ‘bee
And date Jennifer Love!
America! America!
Rob dives across thy sod,
So help him out when Batman shouts
I want a free iPod!
Dorgon destroyed his Lotus work
But not his sacred blog
His door’s open, despite that jerk
Hops in – Kermit the Frog!
America! America!
Home of stand-up routine!
And where we see philosophy
To pee or not to pee!
O Rob, who drives many a car
None that will change CDs,
But four wheels only go so far,
Motorcycle Diary!
America! America!
On a Harley? Sure, why not?
He’ll quench the need for blazing speed
Just no one tell DELDOT!
O Quizzo friend, where have you gone?,
These drunkards cannot sing!
They’re butchering that Weezer song
I’d rather watch West Wing
America! America!
We hang on every word,
That Robbo writes, into the nights,
Praise be to thy Harford!
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Let Freedom Ring, Part 2
Written by Chris Condon at 9:35 AM
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4 comments:
Well there goes my big surprise!
That monkey is SO fired...
-condon, that was probably one of the sweetest things i have ever read in my entire life!
That...was...AWESOME!!
You are an amazing writer Chris. You never fail to blow my mind with your posts, even when I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about.
Um - um - but - ?!?! OK.
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