Well it’s about time YABNews got their act together and actually reported something…
Our sources are telling us that today, on Groundhog Day, America’s annual tradition of completely casting off the abilities and education of meteorology professionals in favor of a glorified rodent in a hole in the ground, has come and gone, and it does not look good on the horizon. (After reading that last sentence, I realize I kind of made it sound that the groundhog predicted the apocalypse. YABNews tends to be a little sensationalistic during fiscal year end.)
The idea is simple. If the Almighty Groundhog of Pennsylvania, Punxsutawney Phil, comes out of his hole to cloudy skies, he does not see his shadow and proceeds with his day unafraid (that is, if the 50,000 bystanders don’t scare the complete hell out of him). This means spring is soon approaching. On the other hand, if the sun is shining and causes Phil to see his shadow, he’ll freak out and run back into his home, fearing that shadows somehow are equivalent to six more weeks of winter. Regardless of his prediction, it’s a guaranteed certainty that a fat guy in a top hat and long coat will pick him up by the torso and hold him up for the frozen faithful to see.
Personally, I would hate if that happened to me every time I made a forecast in my job. “Hey Chris, you have predicted a budget over run of 60k! Hey everybody! This guy did his job like he’s supposed to! Everybody look at him as I sway him to and fro!” This is a blatant misuse of managerial positive reinforcement philosophy. Thank God we don’t treat pro athletes this way.
(Or do we?)
Here are top 3 things that YABNews finds as a little strange concerning Groundhog Day:
1 – Does this method of forecasting seem COMPLETE BACKWARDS to anyone else? Groundhog sees the shadow (which means it’s sunny), that’s six more weeks of winter. Groundhog sees no shadow (which means it’s a crappy, cold, cloudy February morning) and that means spring will be here soon? Imagine if I had predicted the Oscar nominations with that logic. “Well, I hear Stealth was the flimsiest story of the last 5 years, so that’s a lock for Best Picture. It will have some tough competition with Son of the Mask.” I would say we should get some actual educated weather folk on the scene, but life has a tendency to repeat itself.
2 – Little know fact: Chris Condon has actually been to Punxsutawney. And from my travels, I know one thing is for sure. Phil has been predicting a hazy shade of winter since 1886. Now unless Phil was a Galapagos turtle (and thus making the “coming out of the hole” an all-day event), this little guy is not the same one that was being pulled out of a hole some 120 years ago. I know this for a fact.
For 364 mornings of the year, Phil wakes up not in a natural habitat, but in a glass case in the Punxsutawney Local Library. They take good care of him there, giving him some of the eddentials – food, water, OTHER GROUNDHOGS TO PLAY WITH. Yes, friends, Phil is actually “Phils,” as there are 3-4 of the little guys as they just pick the most frisky one that morning and throw him down the hole. It’s rigged in every way.
3 – According to Wikipedia, Phil doesn’t want have the prediction throne all to himself. There are others vying for the glory, and according to Wikipedia, their 2006 results are split.
6 more weeks of winter — Punxsutawney Phil, Buckeye Chuck
Early Spring — Wiarton Willie, General Beauregard Lee, Staten Island Chuck, Shubenacadie Sam, Jimmy the Groundhog
Ah, old “Jimmy the Groundhog.” Would have been funnier if his name was Sue. Then we could hold him liable for false predictions.
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