Leading the Charge

Wireless phone technology has completely changed the way people communicate in this day and age. No one is relegated to waiting at home to hear from a friend about plans on the horizon, and no one can be out-of-pocket for that long without a worried comrade contemplating calling Missing Persons for their whereabouts. (Is this a problematical age?) No, it’s the cell phone that is now attached to everyone’s hip that keeps them constantly in the network. And all is well and good, assuming one key piece to the technology is in working order…

The Cell Phone Charger.

For most of you, the cell phone charger provides little resistance. For most of you, you have a convenient place where you can plug your phone in at home, and quite possibly an auxiliary power source in your car. Because of your expert use of the cell phone charger, you telecommunicate with all of the prowess of an Aston Martin or Jaguar on the wireless highway. You see that rusty red Ford Pinto in the right lane maxing out at 23 miles per hour? That’s me. And my cell phone.

Now as I mentioned in this June post that I was living on the cutting edge with a new flip phone, and that came complete with two chargers. There was a nice honeymoon period where all was well. It didn’t even resent me when I left it turned off for a week when I went on an actual honeymoon in St.Lucia post-wedding. With the phone, I find no faults, and it finds no fault in me.(Ya know, assuming cell phones have the capacity for logic and fault process assessment)

I know what you are thinking. If you have two chargers, why the heck is your phone always dead? (Some of you are thinking currently, “What’s for lunch?” but I don’t have the answer for that one.)

The number one thing that can make your home-based charger completely useless is going on vacation. If you take a trip away from home for more than 24 hours, it’s likely that you’ll rip the plug from the wall in a spirited attempt to stay on time and throw it in your bag. You leave, you enjoy your vacation, you come home. And you have one of the following two reasons to thank for having a dead-on-arrival cell phone.

1 – You left the charger plugged into the wall wherever it is you came from.
2 – You packed the charger in a place you’ll “never forget,” only to have a better shot of snowboarding a halfpipe without landing on your head than actually locating it. Once again, phone is dead.

As for the car charger, that thing was as well-crafted as snowball on Miami Beach. I’ve had the thing for 8 months, and its effectiveness seems to be deteriorating. First, one of the two prongs failed to grip inside the phone. This meant that every turn the car made, the phone would break free and fly across the vehicle. Now, the second prong has failed, leaving no actual method of connection between charger and phone.

With a missing home charger and a faulty phone charger and far, far away from any San Diego Chargers, I’m left to charge my phone by holding the car charger upright while driving, while the phone balances on top. It’s like holding an ice cream cone while driving, except that partaking of said dessert will leave you with an electric shock and your car in a ditch. Hmm. Must be Rocky Road flavor.

But last night, I had a revelation. I thought of a pocket. It was a Hot Pocket. I microwaved it up something fierce and was glad this revelation had vanquished my hunger.

But then I had a vision. A vision of another pocket, the side one on your suitcase that you never check. One where you would “never forget.” And sure enough, there it was. My home phone charger.

My Cellamaphone is back in business.