I'd Like to Make a Revelation for One

Back in June, I gloated about the scary accuracy I exhibited in predicting statistics of an idle Phillies-Brewers baseball game, which I saw in person in the City of Brotherly Glove. At the time, I would have called it the Godfather Part II of my prediction history. But taking recent revelations into account, it makes that fortune-telling look like Caddyshack 2.

*shudder*

Now the Phils’ example held little impact on the world. Had I know, I could have made a little cash on the side, but I’ve failed to repeat that feat and would ultimately cost myself serious dough (and everybody I know Christmas presents this past year). But as you read the below true story, be advised that I’ve apparently channeled something fierce from a nether-dimension. All Donnie Darko-like and stuff.

Two nights ago, I spent the final hours of the night (4-6am) in a lighter state of slumber. There are two advantages to this. First, you wake up periodically, only to find out you can sleep longer. It seems that it’s only time to get up when you are completely dead to the world, so this transitory sleeping state allows you to have such an illusion. Secondly, being so close to consciousness allows one to remember and recall their dreams with startling clarity.

Look into my crystal ball.

The last dream I had that fateful night was set at my desk at work. (so sad, I know) A co-worker of mine was sitting in my guest chair across from me. Now this was an actual person with an actual identity, not some weird dream-infused character like the Hamburglar or Gheorghe Muresan. I’ve known this person for 3 years, and have developed a good working relationship. (Hamburglar and I, for the record, would make terrible co-workers. I just can’t handle when your food disappears from the dept. fridge, and that guy’s a prime candidate.)

So we’re sitting there in my dream and my co-worker explains that she’s decided to leave the company. I remember something about her saying she no longer wants to work full-time, and has decided to spend time at home with her kids and teach some religious classes in the fall (this person is Jewish, so I guess my dream was thinking Hebrew School.) I recall something about apologizing for the sudden announcement, but it was “just time to move on.”

Apparently it was “just time to move on” for me, as my damn alarm clock freaked out shortly thereafter.

When I woke up, I thought it was cool that I could remember what I had just dreamt. It rarely happens, and most of my archived dreams are from childhood, which I only remember because they come up in conversation every now and then.

Flash forward (my morning commute is boring.)

At a staff meeting at about 3 in the afternoon, among other announcements, my supervisor informed us that the very employee I had this premonition about had resigned earlier in the day. She had chose to leave because of another job opportunity up in Baltimore, and that he knew little else.

HOLY CRAP.

I wonder if there are Hebrew Schools in Baltimore.