Curious Guaddy

Monkeys are funny. Go with it.

If Comedy Rule #732 was “If all else fails, mock the French,” the CR-733 would be the above statement. Everyone should have a list of “default staples,” those things that can be thrown into a mundane conversation with the hopes of instantaneously instilling some of the funny. These are places/things/ideas that seem to hold up over time in the comedic realm, so much that they could be stand-alone commercials for TBS. Take location, for example. For years, Guam was a funny place to me. Most funny places don’t have to actually BE funny, just sound it. That’s why Uzbekistan, Swedesboro, and Funkytown are often locales where hilarity can ensue. So while places may come and go, my choice animal stays the same. Monkeys.

A recent anonymous poster (who hails from Princeton and is a black belt in shotokan (not so anonymous now, HAH!)) commented on YAB regarding a certain stuffed monkey that had made his way to the website of a certain a cappella group that YAB’s Editor-in-Chief was a part of in his undergrad days. You know that equation about pictures equaling a determinate number of words – here you go.

Yeah, that’s a stuffed monkey in a poncho. And I’m hoping Mike doesn’t actually bear any resemblance to him. But as our 4th Homecoming weekend as alumni is coming this very next weekend, to see this monkey on a current W&M organization’s website is indeed surprising to our anonymous commenter as well as many others. Why, you might ask?

That’s MY monkey.

I’d like you to meet Guaddy. Guaddy has been part of the Condon family since 2000. I first acquired him junior year and thought of him initially as a non-descript weird looking monkey that would certainly not aid my studies, but rather become another dust collector in Jefferson Hall 209. However, the legend grew. Give a monkey a banana – he’ll be happy. Give a monkey clothes – he’ll be famous.

It’s not that Spud shops in stores that carry monkeywear – the apparel happened by accident. Guaddy, with a sombrero and poncho, instantly became a cult figure for the Mexican revolution (or so I’m told) He gained prominent placement on top of the computer monitor (that’s my old CPU, Cameron in the pic) and was adored by all passers-by. But how in the world is he on the INTERNET?

One Accord, in the fall of ’01 revamped their website. It included headshots of all the guys. I was responsible for the camera work, and snapped some digital pictures at a rehearsal. All were in attendance – except for Jeff Locke. So when it was time to upload pictures to our webmaster, I was one picture short. Totally not cool with someone’s likeness being represented by “Photo Not Available,” I looked up for guidance from the Almighty. Instead, I got a hopeful glare from a monkey ready for Cinco de Mayo.

For two years running, Jeff Locke’s picture on the website was none other than Guaddymonkey – with a sign (note card + pencil) proclaiming “I SELL CDS.” Once Jeff graduated and moved to NYC, Guaddy’s quiet run on the world wide web drew to a close. He and I went to a bar, toasted his longevity and had a few laughs about it (Mexican monkeys drink Corona, apparently.)

2 years later…

Just like our anonymous commenter, I, too, was surfing through One Accord’s site. And like a phoenix from the ashes, I saw he had risen again (Guaddy, not Condon.) I had to e-mail the current webmaster to find out what brought upon this resurrection. He said that a couple of guys needed new pictures taken and he found this old file floating around on the One Accord server.

Golden Rule: Don’t skip rehearsal. They’ll make a monkey out of you.