Regression to an Upset Stomach

First of Three posts regarding Halloween ’07! Enjoy!

It’s not often that I choose to bombard you people with statistical analysis. But as a holder a collegiate and a post-graduate degree, sometimes you need to take your edumacation out of the garage for a spin around the block. William and Mary and GW insisted that some sort of statistics class as part of the course work, although I’ve yet to find a need to find the deviation of anything, standard or otherwise. And since we ate all of our pie charts on account of them being delicious, we’re going to use other means to blind you with numbers. But worry not, intrepid YABbites! We promise the subject matter will be infused with sugar.
But first, a poll.

I don’t know how I came across the poll that ESPN Sports Nation was running the day after All Hallow’s Eve. But when it came down to it, I’m kind of addicted to lists. And seeing that I am a citizen of SportsNation, my failure to contribute a ranking of my own would then make the sample size of SportsNation incomplete. Plus, that would be a lack of patriotism on my part, and in addition to belittling Halloween, my Fourth of July privileges would be suspended.

The task at hand was simple: rank the list of 40 candies from 1 to 40, and while the parameters or performance measures were unclear, we assumed that it was a scale of Awesomitude. My answers are to the right, and while completed quickly, I feel they accurately reflect the correct answers to the quiz at hand.

That’s right. The Correct Answers. Any answers that do not mirror these answers are by definition incorrect. You hear that Sports Nation? And now, my analysis of this saccharine experiment.

• Let there be no mistake: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are the undisputed Number 1 Halloween Candy. Over 8,000 of us are in agreement of this. For some reason, the PB Cup is smaller in volume than your standard candy bar, and yet, you feel satisfied by the amount of candy you just consumed. That’s magic. Whoever Reese is, I applaud his effort to combine chocolate and peanut butter to make the ideal convenience store treat. (Note: Item is 78% tastier if you remember to remove the thin black wrapper underneath the cup.)
• SportsNation has declared the candy corn as the worst candy on the list. I had them ranked at 28. While the texture of candy corn taste mysteriously better in tiny pumpkin form, I feel that there was a miscommunication here on the part of the pollsters. Like moose and deer, corn is a word that stands for both the singular and plural form of the item. When I read “candy corn,” I assumed it was at least a handful of the product, justifying my average ranking. I assume SportsNation figured it was only one – singular – candy corn, relegating to the basement. You know, if you only received one, that would kind of suck.
• Comparing my Top 12 to their Top 12, I see that we share 9 of the same types of candy. What does this go to show? This Candy List is no better than College Football. It’s the same powerhouse teams every single year, with the occasional surprise team that is either having a Cinderella season or a lucky recruiting class comes to fruition. At the top of any candy poll, you’re going to see the same heavy hitters – Snickers, Twix, M&Ms – every single year. It’s the South Floridas and Boise States that are what you really look forward to getting while Trick or Treating. In my case, that would be Caramello. How can you tell it doesn’t normally hang out with the favorites? That’s right. ESPN SPELLED IT WRONG.
• The column in red refers to the number of times SportsNation put each candy in the 1st place slot. It appears out of over 28,000 entries; only 77 give the gold medal to Hershey’s Kisses. And yet, those guys finished a respectable 17th. Conclusion: We can all agree that Hershey’s Kisses don’t suck.
• Mr. Goodbar at 22??? Notice its rightful place on my list at 37. I think I’ve heard this rant before – check the comments, kids.

Additional thoughts? Let’s have them in the comments.