What? No Krypton?

This is what happens when NASA takes their eye off the ball.

No, this is not merely a re-worded, scrambled version of yesterday’s post. Apparently, because nothing remotely interesting is going on in the terrestrial arena lately, the YABNews Desk has had their view focused on space. And while they thought it to be funny to turn in a blank piece of paper for a story about “space,” I made them re-write it and report on some actual happenings in the world that lies outside our own.

Yes, while NASA rummaged around in a warehouse looking for missing boxes, nearly 2,500 astronomers from 75 nations met in Prague in order to consider a proposal that would expand out solar system from 9 to 12 planets.

Before we even get started on the planet thing, can we consider another number, namely the fact that they’ve gathered 2,500 astronomers?!? Yes, apparently our planet holds two and a half thousand people who are professional stargazers (paparazzi excluded). Now William and Mary allowed you to take Astronomy as a course, sure. But do you know why people took Astronomy? Not because of a vested interest in studying orbits and moons, I assure. Instead, it was probably for one of two reasons.

1. Physics, Biology, and Chemistry scared the hell out of you. But you still has a science requirement to fill.
2. The class was held at night, and you weren’t a fan of getting up before, let’s say, 3 in the afternoon.
   

Anyways, all of these non-morning people have gathered to define what exactly makes a planet. (Hollywood, we’ve been told, does not count.) And with the definition they are putting forward, it would include 3 more heavenly bodies that fit the bill deserving of the name “Planet.” And from what we can tell, each one is more dubious than the next.

The first planet up for admission is “2003 UB313.” Yes, that’s the name of a planet. Yes, astronomers have no sense of creativity. Imagine if I went around naming things by the date I found them coupled with whatever letters and numbers Sesame Street was brought to you by that day. We know it doesn’t exactly roll of the tongue, and so does its founder, Michael Brown. Therefore, he’s suggested an alternate name for the kiddies in school. Xena. Yes, at the very end of our solar system would be a Warrior Planet.

Second in line for admission is Charon, which is Pluto’s largest moon. Now for years, some rogue astronomers have long argued that Pluto doesn’t deserve to be a planet, and therefore, should be stricken from the record (My Very Elderly Mother Just Served Us Nine…end of sentence.) And yet, despite the fact that Pluto is smaller than our own moon, we want to now induct one of Pluto’s moon to the fray? That’s like saying the Boston batboy is actually a member of the Red Sox, and while we’re at it, so is his kid sister.

Finally, we have Ceres to consider. Rather than being tacked on the end, our might Astronomer Guild identifies Ceres as a potential planet. Lying between Mars and Jupiter, to this point Ceres has been known as a large asteroid. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. Prior to 1800, Ceres was known as a planet and was then demoted. Wow, that’s a real vote of confidence right there (though I doubt there were 2,500 astronomers back then). Who is for teaching schoolchildren about a planet that was already fired from being a planet once?

Anyone?