The Night in Review

This is a list of things that happened last night…

• The Cleveland Indians played their home opener…in Wisconsin. Yes, Miller Park in Milwaukee hosted the Tribe’s first “home” game, since the entire Mariners series was called on account of snow. It’s a shame Mother Nature didn’t pull this crap for the final season of the Drew Carey Show.
• The nightly food supply trucks visited Fairfax Corner. Yes, between the hours of 1 and 7, our neighboring standalone eateries – P.F. Chang’s, Coastal Flats, and Rio Grande – load up on ingredients and booze from these massive rigs that back right up to their respective loading docks. This means that each restaurant must have some guy on their payroll whose job it is to wait for these trucks to show up. When they do arrive, he probably says something generic and cool like, “Hey! Beer Man!” or “Hey! Meat Guy!” This is why it is so important to be hauling something of importance or interest if you choose to enter the trucking profession. You don’t want to pull up with your shipment, only to hear the night watch guy call out, “Hey! Diced Green Scallions Dude!” But that’s just me.
• I ate at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. I know I’ve spent the entirety of my young professional career on the white collar side of the ironing board, but still, I’m still a little confused when it comes to this dining locale. There’s not a single thing about the Cheesecake Factory that actually reminds me of a factory. I’m not required to eat my enormous Caesar Salad using a couple of wrenches. There is a minimal likelihood that something heavy could fall from the ceiling and hit me on the head, necessitating the need for hard hats to be passed out with the menus. I’m pretty sure the appetizers didn’t freak out and form a union. And I know that cheesecakes are not made on an assembly line – cows aren’t that patient. (After dinner, I did enjoy a nice apple cider at the Coffee Midtown High Rise across the street.)
• The obligatory “I’m drunk, therefore I’m loud” moment of the evening. Every night between 11 and 12, a jovial group of Mexican food enthusiasts will roll out of Rio Grande towards their respective vehicles. I know this because I live four stories above and across the parking lot. Look, I can’t blame them. They probably enjoyed a hearty meal of the finest in authentic Mexican cuisine. That sure can get the adrenaline pumping. I know it makes me want to yell across the parking lot at my good friends and blast my car radio while I look to see if I picked up my credit card from the bill. I get it! Mexican food is exciting! Viva! Viva la revolucion! (reads important detail from Rio Grande’s website) What’s that? Rio Grande has a full bar? Oh…nevermind.
• I watched an episode of Law and Order. I never watch Law, nor Order. It’s an interesting show, and the storyline is always worthwhile, but it’s not ever on when I’m looking for something to watch. Now according to my records, there are currently three Laws and three Orders (conveniently paired up) on NBC’s prime time schedule. A full-season order (which they all were granted) of 23 episodes apiece means that the people behind this behemoth of justice turn out 69 original, fresh stories each season. And somehow, the one on last night that I passively watched while working is the same exact one I saw up in NJ last November when visiting my parents. How is this possible? What’s the likelihood of this? It’s probably as rare as April snow in Cleveland.
  

This is a list of things that did not happen last night.

• Clara waking up in the middle of the night.
  

Sometimes the volume of 9 words can drown out the volume of 600.