Bill Nye, the Science Guy: Good morning. I want to thank you all for coming on such notice. It is not typical for the Brotherhood of Fictional Science to meet on such short notice, but I feel that we could not wait for the next Halley’s Comet to come round, as per protocol. Before we begin, I would everyone to go around the room and give their name and field of expertise.
Beakman: My name is Beakman, and my world is zoology.
Spock: I am Mr. Spock. I can be of help with intergalactic astronomy.
Bunsen Honeydew: Yes, greetings. I am Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and this is my assistant, Beeker.
Beeker: MEEP!!!
Honeydew: We are skilled chemists.
Mr. Peabody: And hello, my name is Peabody, and this is my adopted boy Sherman. We are experts in time and space physics.
Nye: Excellent. Now as some of you may have heard, we've lost a brother in science yesterday. I know it's been a while since we've had a meeting or he's been on television, but I just learned that Mr. Wizard passed away, succumbing to cancer at age 90.
Beakman: In tribute, we must each pour a beaker of unknown brightly colored chemical compound out onto the pavement, in honor of our fallen brother.
Beaker: MEEP!
Honeydew: No, not YOU, Beeker. Had you no idea that you and I are named after random laboratory equipment? That Henson fella didn't try too hard in that department.
Beaker: meep...
Honeydew: Yeah, I know.
Mr. Peabody: How can you even understand a damn thing that guy is saying? All of his words are not only unintelligible, they're identical!
Honeydew: Honestly? I haven't a clue what he says all day. Faking it.
Spock: Allow me to mind meld with the lad. I will translate. (engages in mind meld) Ah, you see, Dr. Beaker has some brilliant theories on the acceleration of airborne particle fusion, not to mention some riveting ideas on nuclear atomization of sea turtles. But for now, all he has in his voice is sadness. Complete sadness.
Nye: As do we all, my colleague. Mr. Wizard was a staple in the educating of young minds via television. Without him, I would have no idea how to create a tornado by using a couple two-liter bottles.
Mr. Peabody: What I wouldn't give to put the youth of today in our WABAC machine. They could see that there's more science in two-liter bottles than just cramming a Mentos in there.
Beakman: And I had no idea that I could create contained housefires within my mom's stock pot. Some might say that I can credit my existence on morning television to the man.
Honeydew: You haven’t lived until you’ve created a paper mache volcano, or shot a rocket into the sky between tapings of The Muppet Show. Isn’t that right, Beeker? (looks around) Beeker?
Beeker: Mppp eeeep Mpp Meep Meeee Mppp Meppp.
Honeydew: Don't cry, old friend. It will be okay. Science will live on.
Nye: Of course it will. Thanks to YouTube, anyone can go back and honor Mr. Wizard, as the best intro sequence in scientific history is available there.
Spock: And yet, your intro theme has been viewed over 25,000 more times than his.
Nye: Dude, I'm THE Science Guy. Not some Science Guy. THE Science Guy.
Beaker: MEEP!
Spock: He called you an egomaniacal jerk.
Nye: Big words from a man whose jaw hinges at the back of his neck.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Off to Mourn the Wizard
Written by Chris Condon at 1:09 PM
Tags: eugoogilizing, Reality TV, science
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