Dressed to Regress

On a Casual Friday, it’s nice to see your fellow co-workers enjoy the liberty of dressing down a bit in order to pay homage to St.Weekend, who is schedule for arrival tomorrow. On a standard Casual Friday, you can expect more jeans and sweaters and less suits and ties. And this mere wardrobe change can affect the demeanor of an entire economy. Laid back, and looking to close out the week in style.

On a Casual Friday following a snow-filled night, people reason that the horrid commuting conditions give them full validation in taking the dress code down yet another notch. Everyone accepted a dress code of mediocrity, but snow (and the brushing off of one’s vehicle) apparently gives people that extra liberty to phone in their appearance. (For a relevant analogy, check out “Marlins, Florida, 2005-2006 at your local library.”)

Case and point – standing in the lunch line to pay for my salad today, I was behind a gentleman who took that extra liberty, downgrading his sweater to a sweatshirt. And not just any sweatshirt – the classic Animal House John Belushi “COLLEGE” sweatshirt. And this guy was easily pushing 45. But hey – it’s SNOWING! – we can get away with it.

Rather than be a member of the disapproving establishment (The Man and I – not exactly poker buddies,) I figured I’d use this opportunity to brainstorm for the next snowy Friday. The following is a list of famous cinema apparel that I would love to own and wear on a Casual Friday, snow or no snow.

1. Now, wearing a hockey jersey to work is a gutsy move – considering very little hockey takes place at most major places of work. And what’s even more offensive, wearing the jersey from a team that beat your own favorite team in a championship series could be cause for a treason hearing. But I would stand up in the face of those charges to wear a bright red Gordie Howe Detroit Red Wings jersey to work, as made famous by Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Not only would it be immensely comfortable, it sends out the message, “Look, I should be in bed today, but since I’m here, you should just get it out of the way and lower your expectations of me. It’s Friday, and I think I may blow off this afternoon and go to a parade.”

2. When it comes to footwear, most companies require it. Even on Casual Fridays, something must be keeping the soles of your feet from touching the industrial grad office carpet. I think just once I’d like to make my footwear optional. I’d show up for work like John McClane spent most of Die Hard – loose-fitting white shirt, comfortable pair of pants, and shoeless. Look, he was in an office building as well, so management cannot completely frown on it, can they? If that was the case, I’d also refuse to use my office phone, walk around with a walkie-talkie, and insist someone named Argyle brings my car around when I cut out for that aforementioned parade.

3. What happened to hats in the workplace??? In the fifties, all businessmen wore fedoras that matched theirs suits or coats. Now, nary a hat to be found. So I’d like to have a selection of hats that I could wear for different Friday tasks. For all important meetings, I’d wear the hat of Indiana Jones. For laid back financial analysis, I’d like to don a ball cap from The Natural. And when it’s time file, let’s get that Hogwarts’ Sorting Hat out. Works like a dream.