Round and Round

Do you have a favorite song? Of course you do. In this age of digital music, iPods, and satellite radio, you can hear your favorite tune pretty much any time you want with a few turns of the dial. No longer do you have to shuffle through CDs or call FM radio stations in order to catch that single you desire, and we’re way past the age of rewinding cassettes for a second play. For years, I’ve been meaning to rank every mp3 I own in order to determine what my favorite song is. However, the massive excel spreadsheet required or the second coming of Mookie Madness have yet to formulate, so I’m left wondering what should be on the top of my podium.

For babies, this process is way easier.

In order for a baby to pick a number one song, they have to do a similar thing. They must evaluate each and every song they have ever heard, and then decide which song makes them the happiest. The nice thing for them? They haven’t heard that many songs. Their personal discography is limited to songs 1) heard on the radio once they’ve decided sitting in the car seat isn’t a cry-worthy activity and 2) songs that Mom and Dad have sung to them in order to distract them into calming down, and quite possibly triggering a smile.

Radio music doesn’t stand a chance.

This leaves in the running all ditties in which either Mother or Father are the recording artist. And despite strong showings from such timeless classics as “Lollipop,” “Rock-A-Bye Baby,” “Hush Little Baby,”, and Nordberg’s “Spider-Pig,” we have a winner.

The Wheels on the Bus.

What’s not to like about the Wheels on the Bus? The title vehicular components goes round and round – much as hit records used to fly off the stacks back in the days of vinyl. It tells a story – this bus is not content with a power ballad about how it sits all day in a garage; no, it’s an epic story where the title character embarks on an epic meandering journey.

All through the town.

Let’s review the lyrics to this rock classic with greater detail, shall we?

• The motion of the wheels on the bus turn a simple nursery tune into a fully-choreographed musical from the very first verse. “Wheels” are not usually a part of a baby’s first vocabulary chapter – that’s reserved for Mama, Dada, hello, and the like. Therefore the “Wax On, Wax Off” motion of the wheels gets the point across without having to skip ahead in the Big Book of Words Baby Will Memorize by Age 3.”
• After the wheels on the bus, there’s no coda listed in the sheet music, which means it’s the singer’s responsibility to come up with the next verse all on their own. A common choice for the 2 hole are the wipers on the bus. (For the record, they go swish, swish, swish.) This begs the question – should there be singing on any public transportation when it’s pouring outside? Wouldn’t this distract the driver?
• The song also goes on to tell us that the “People on the Bus go UP and DOWN.” Fair enough. This song was written a long time ago, long before the Department of Transportation got their way with new-fangled safety regulations. If they had their choice, the DoT would insist on the Seat Belts on the Bus go Click, click, click. Keep dreaming, bureaucrats.
• Careful, driver. Make sure Rosa Parks isn’t on the bus before you utter your demanding declaration. You could be in for a legal world of hurt.
• There’s also a delightful little dialogue in the middle verses where babies on the bus cry (wah, wah, waah) and their mothers promptly quiet them (shush, shush, sshhh). This is where the daddies on the bus pretend to be asleep.
• If your baby really loves this song (like Clara), you’ll be hard pressed to come up with additional, previously unwritten verses. For instance, does anyone know what sounds a double overhead camshaft makes?