YABDome, anyone?

In a move likely caused to divert attention from the fact they may actually put Sammy Sosa on their opening day roster, the Texas Rangers have laughed in the face of corporate funding and decided to rename their stadium “Rangers Ballpark in Arlington.” Previously Ameriquest Field, the Ballpark will no longer be known to fans as a random institution of financial services, much less one that’s headed for the tank in a number of years.

Good for you, Texas Rangers. Walker would be proud.

Yes, it’s a sad reality that there aren’t more of these naming rights buybacks happening, but hey, money talks. When the Flyers and Sixers built a new stadium in the mid-nineties, Comcast-Spectacor offered up the naming rights for an additional source of revenue. CoreStates took the lead, only to be bought by First Union. And when it was time to change the name from the CoreStates Center to the First Union National Center, Flyers winger Brant Myhres objected. There’s no way he could get into a hockey fight in a place known as the FUN Center. And like that, the National was 86’ed.

The Philly sports complex is now the banking district of the Eastern Seaboard. You’ve got Lincoln Financial Field, the Wachovia Center, and of course, Citizens Bank Park. Hopefully, this era of financial prosperity will translate into a championship soon. Please?

The Kids in Philly may have nothing to complain about when it comes to naming rights, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t stupidly-named stadiums elsewhere in the 4 major sports. The worst ten follow here.

10. Dolphins Stadium – Florida Marlins (MLB) – This is a great, great name for the Marlins’ locker room neighbors, the Miami Dolphins. There’s no corporate overlord and it tells it like it is. However, it’s a little embarrassing to be playing in a stadium named for an entirely different pro sports franchise. Plus, a marlin and a dolphin are different species of underwater creature. They don’t even like to make eye contact at parties.

9. Rogers Centre – Toronto Blue Jays (MLB) – I have no problem with the name Rogers, nor do I protest at the silly British way of spelling Center. However, if I hadn’t let you know that this was Toronto, you’d have no idea 1) who plays here or 2) if this a stadium or a collegiate academic complex. What was so bad about calling it the SkyDome? Way to ruin sports, Canada.

8. LP Field – Tennessee Titans (NFL) – Lousiana-Pacific Paper Company has stepped up and bought the naming rights from Adelphia, who needs some spare cash to stop at Taco Bell for dinner on the way home from their bankruptcy proceedings. However, the Libertarian Party and Linkin Park are totally cool with the free advertising, too.

7. PETCO Park – San Diego Padres (MLB) – Does it bother anyone else that PETCO doesn’t actually sell pets, but rather mere pet supplies? You have no idea how many times I’ve driven by one of these stores and wanted to play with some puppies, only to end up playing with a 50 lb. bag of dog food. Somehow, I feel that San Diego could have held out for a stronger corporate sponsor that doesn’t remind their fans of bird cages and chew toys.

6. Rose Garden Arena – Portland Trailblazers (NBA) – Where would you rather play hoops? In Madison Square Garden or a Rose Garden? Ladies…

5. Minute Maid Park – Houston Astros (MLB) – In another showcase of who’s the inferior cola bottling company, Coke ponied up the cash to rename Enron Field after a certain multi-billion dollar corporation got busted for, well, everything financially possible. And what did they do? They named the ‘Stros’ field after their middling orange soda. Meanwhile Pepsi put its flagship brand on the Pepsi Center, home of the Colorado Avalanche. Figures.

4. Quicken Loans Arena – Cleveland Cavaliers (NBA) – Every time LeBron James scores 30 points in a game, you get to take home a free mortgage calculator. Rock.

3. Amway Arena – Orlando Magic (NBA) – How would you feel as a Magic fan over the past ten years? You’ve had two of the greatest NBA talents on your team in Shaquille O’Neal and Tracy McGrady, only to watch them go elsewhere to compete for NBA titles. Penny Hardaway was a bust, and it’s only a matter of time before Dwight Howard signs with Charlotte and torments you in your own division for the next six years. Yeah, I’d feel like my playoff hopes were being placed with a fishy operation, too.

2. University of Phoenix Stadium – Arizona Cardinals (NFL) – Yes, a university who lacks their own football team (and their own campus, for that matter) has found enough scratch to name the Arizona Cardinals’ new digs. If I were a student at said university, methinks I’d protest a bit about the level of tuition at this point, no?

1. Jobing.com Arena – Phoenix Coyotes (NHL) – Who is Jo Bing? Why does he have a website? Where did he come up with the money to name the Coyotes’ rink?
a. It’s actually pronounced (job-bing).
b. It’s a job search webpage.
c. By selling Amway products.