Flag, Yo.

Over at Monrovia Top Five, the Andersen Group, not too far a cry from the McLaughlin Group, debate on a weekly basis the top five items of a given category. Everyone submits their lists and justifications, and Jasen reserves the right to come up with inventive nicknames and lay down the WRONG!!! at any given tine. This week’s topic has been national flags, and it appears that Bhutan is an unexpected frontrunner.

Everyone loves the Thunder Dragon.

And while the history and detail, not to mention ethnocentrism, should land the Stars and Stripes in the Top Five for the week, we here at YAB are proud of Betsy Ross and her efforts to weave together a symbol of liberty. While the stars have increased over the years, she laid the groundwork for easily one of the five-best banners.
As for those who follow in her footsteps – it appears that they’ve tripped.

Nordblog’s Mike Nordberg decided to extend the debate briefly to state flags. These are the flags reserved to fly over your local town hall, police station, and side of that state trooper car that just pulled you over. Some do well to reflect the heritage and history of their statehood, others managed to design something that is actually attractive. But after reviewing the fifty flags of the United States, it appears that most states are no better off than picking the winner of a 3rd-grade drawing contest.

(Sidenote: In 3rd grade, I actually had to design a flag for Flag Day in some contest sponsored by a local bank. Mine ruled. I freehandedly traced the United States out of the World Book Encyclopedia – it was awesome. And yet somehow, I only got third place. First place – savings bond! Second place – smaller savings bond. Third place? Your flag hangs in a bank! Yeah, just put mine NEAR some money, I didn’t actually want any. Ok, I’m done.)

The following are the 5 worst flags in the United States of America.

OHIO – I have no patience to those who screw with geometry. Had to be different, did ya, Buckeye State? Methinks that somebody ran out of fabric two hours before they had to turn it in, and tried to float this as “art.” I know a slack job when I see one.

ILLINOIS – According to the webpage, this one was actually a contest winner in 1912. The winner got $25 bucks. The state of Illinois got a flag with a bald eagle that if it were real, would have a wingspan of a Boeing 747.

COLORADO – I loved Pac-Man! I’m so glad he gets to live on over the State Capital building in Denver! For the record, the state animal is Frogger and the state insect is Centipede.

LOUISIANA – Look, I’m all for using a state symbol, like Louisiana’s Eastern Brown Pelican on an official symbol like a flag. But when that pelican has a demonic, hungry look in her eyes and there are innocent, defenseless baby pelicans in the picture, I draw the line.

MINNESOTA – Ah, they went with the old state seal as the selling point. What’s that across the top – L’etoile du Nord? Yeah, yeah, the North Star is great, people, but there should be a rule that no French should be part of any state flag. (Not to mention that I can’t figure if that guy in the seal is farming or golfing.)