A Farewell Speech

Hi there. Gobble.

I'm the Condon Family Turkey. You can call me Ankara. I don't have much time to type this - considering Thanksgiving dinner isn't all that far off. But between the perpetual cleaning, the Wawa coffee runs, the prep time required doe all the side dishes and appetizers, I've managed to waddle my way away from the stove and into the family room. Good thing I blend in. There's enough woodcraft or porcelain turkeys in decorative form that these people may not notice my presence.

I've been here in the family room since about 8am. It's been hectic, but I've managed to keep a low profile. I first decided to make my hiding place on the fireplace, but once Toni came down and turned on the electric fire (something about "it being freezing in here" despite the fact it was 66 degrees outside). Because of her heat-seeking ways, I had a sudden craving to be accompanied by some bacon and lettuce on a sesame see bun. Thus, I relocated to underneath the coffee table. From there I watched the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Some thoughts...

1. Do we really need a Barney balloon in 2004? He hasn't gotten any more appealing, especially at the length of 9 Buicks.
2. Speaking of Buicks, I feel this uncanny need to purchase a new Buick LaCrosse. Or a frightenly skinny woman. Is she supposed to be the car? Is this going to be like Transformers, where the unsuspecting model magically transforms into a new trendy American sportscar?? I just don't know.
3. The Barenaked Ladies were the only musical act to not take the lyp synching seriously. Congrats. Anyone who WAS taking it to seriously could have used a hammer on the head from Ginormous Bob the Builder.
4. Spongebob Squarepants - apparently can get creepier! Just make him 50 ft tall and full of hot air.
5. Glad we can trust Matt Lauer for those hard hitting stories. 1 year ago, Fallujah. Today, talking about Garfield's inflatable teddy bear.
6. Dude, that guy from 98 Degrees is singing Walk Like an Egyptian with a bunch of Discovery Channel kids. So that's what happens if you don't marry Jessica Simpson.
7. Side tangent - there's not a whole lot of clearance under this coffee table. Heck, it was cozier in the oven. Maybe I'll head over that way...

(opens oven)

Oh, look! A bright light! Maybe just for a few minutes, I'll go to it. Ah! So warm and comfortab-WHAM.

(closes oven)

Happy Thanksgiving, loyal readers.