Seasons Greetings from your Landlord!

Well, at least I can't say they never write.

I have a loathe/hate relationship with our landlord. It should be a simple, business only matter, but it truth, it's so much more. They lease me an apartment. We pay them a monthly rent expense. They don't get a brick through the leasing office window. We don't get evicted. (And hey, they even give us pool passes! Awesome!)

But, unfortunately, the relationship cannot end there. In December 2003, the rocket scientists in leasing accused us of turning our rent in late, when in reality they closed the office early because it might have snowed that night. (I'm not kidding, people. 2 inches of snow will paralyze this region. If you have a spatula or a cake server, you have better snow removal equipment than the Virginia Department of Transportation.) After a few strongly-worded letters and a certified money order to pay the rent later, things were patched up, at least to get us through the new year.

The management here is like the Flyers. Operationally, it's a well-tuned machine. But the management has taken a few too many cross-checks to the head. When something breaks (like the ceiling in the bathroom,) it gets fixed. When a tree endangers our balcony furniture, it is swiftly brought to its arboreal knees. But when it comes to letting the management wield its hammer of incompetence, it unravels quicky. For example, take towing.

Please.

We have a rule here in the Random of Run. No Car Gets Towed Twice. 8 cars - all towed. Ever the same? Well, up until this week, the answer is no. Let me explain the parking policy in such a way as to make it clear how downright confusing and backwards the policy really is.

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Wasn't issued a parking pass, even though you live here? TOWED.
Used a fake parking pass to beat the system? TOWED.
Didn't get back from Baltimore by 9am to move the car? TOWED.
Had a rental car without the parking pass? TOWED.
Overslept and couldn't move the car in time? TOWED.
Registration expired? TOWED.
Stopped into to have some pizza, and didn't have a visitor pass? TOWED.
Got back from a Bon Jovi concert in the middle of the night? TOWED.
Parked in the access road for 2 hours after unloading groceries in the rain? Strangely enough, not towed. YET.

The reason I ramble this all to you is the sign that greeted me when I got home from wishing Liz a happy birthday: HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM FAIRFIELD CROSSING! NO TOWING 11/24-12/1!

This is the best gift I have ever received. Seriously, I just got a gift that was a promis that they would leave my car put. A pledge to not move my vehicle without asking. Genius.

I think they're on to something.

With the holiday shopping season fast approaching, I just wanted to let you know for Christmas, you're all getting a promise that I won't break into your residence and take your televisions.

Happy Holidays from Y.A.B.!