Classified Information

First things first. Last night CBS aired the American Film Institute’s Top 100 Movie Quotes List. As always with AFI, I was thoroughly impressed. You can check the list out at www.afi.com. This would have been a tremendous topic for today, had I not already used it back in November. (Check out Spud’s 70’s picks in the comments. I think I saw every last one make the list.)

Second things second. Watching these types of shows makes me want to evaluate my owb movie collection and its merits in the history of cinema. If you are going to be a movie collector (and I do endorse such a hobby), there are no set rules of how such a DVD assortment should be composed. There’s only one rule: Buy what you like. It’s your money, and those are your eyes. As for me, I pride my collection on being a delicate blend of the best movies and the most entertaining and fun to watch. For every critically acclaimed Schindler’s List in the stacks, I’ve got a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. For every mindless joyride named Armageddon, there’s a Bridge on the River Kwai.

Ok, so if you do have a movie collection, and if it’s growing past the level that you can precariously balance on top of your television, you’re going to need a classification system. When you are just starting out, say, under 30 flicks, alphabetizing them will do just dandy. But as it grows, that’s not going to cut it anymore. You won’t be able to fulfill a “what your in the mood for” feeling by scanning A-Z. That’s where YAB steps in.

The Prodigal Roommate and I, upon moving into the apartment back in 2003, devised the patent pending Random Run Classification System. And we now bestow it upon the good readers of YAB. The premise is simple. Any movie that you buy will fall into one of our 14 genres. An eclectic and varied collection should find a normal distribution into each of the 14.

Type A – Standard Movie Genres
Action – Does stuff blow up? Put it here. Examples: Die Hard, Desperado, Gone in 60 Seconds.
Comedy – Movies that have the primary intention of making you laugh. As you will see, this supergenre has been pared down a bit by other categories, but is still necessary. Examples: Airplane!, Monty Python, Stripes.
Drama – Always has been a vague and massive genre. Most often a sweeping story that relies on the script and the acting. Examples: Dead Poets Society, A Beautiful Mind, Rain Man.
Horror – Scary Stuff that intends to be scary stuff. Examples: Scream, The Sixth Sense, What Lies Beneath.

Type B – Fringe Movie Genres
Adventure – It’s action, but with a purpose! Examples: Pirates of the Caribbean, Indiana Jones Trilogy.
Family – Fun for the whole clan (or for just you, if you lack said clan). Examples: Shrek, Chicken Run, The Santa Clause
Romantic Comedy – If it’s after your heart and funny bone simultaneously, stick it here. Examples: The American President, Shakespeare in Love, High Fidelity
Thriller – Ah, yes, too often lumped with action movies in collections, these movies are driven by suspense, not explosives. Examples: North by Northwest, The Game, Bourne Identity.
War – There’s so many action movies out there, that fingering through all the titles could grow tiresome. Do you want a movie with military force? Examples: Platoon, Braveheart, Hunt for Red October.

Type C – Chrispud Original Genres
Crime Drama – For every movie that doesn’t quite fit into drama, think about the plotline. If it centers around commiting a crime, going to jail, or appearing in court, it’s a crime drama. Example: A Few Good Men, Road to Perdition, L.A. Confidential, Silence of the Lambs
Dramedy – Is it serious? Is it funny? Avoid a decision and select Dramedy! Examples: Almost Famous, Truman Show, With Honors, Big
Indie – Some movies just have that feel of low-budget, great story, original work. So even if it is a major studio work, put it here. No one will know. Examples: Pulp Fiction, Clerks, Memento, Hackers, Trainspotting
Sports – The tone of these flicks span so many genres, why not pull them together into one? Examples: Field of Dreams, Cool Runnings, Seabiscuit, Varsity Blues
Sci-Fi/Stuff That Can’t Happen – This should grab all of the standard fantasy movies, but should also incorporate any movie that requires involvement of non-horror supernatural intervention, extraordinary ability, and unexplainable phenomenon. Example: The Matrix, Star Wars, Frequency, Spider-Man, Back to the Future.