Mars and Noble

In the vein of High Fidelity, I participate in a weekly group discussion in which we, a random collection of people, declare a Top 5 for a given topic. In an era where VH-1 insists on ranking everything under the sun, we try and give our weekly lists credence by putting together a consensus choice forth. It’s about as scientific as Las Vegas, but it keeps us all from getting real work done.

In the past, we’ve been so bold to declare Growing Pains the top sitcom of the 80’s, Mr. Thomas Jefferson the chief statesman, Yoda and Han Solo the best characters in the SW universe, and YAB even received the lofty award of Best Website. All of these categories generally were closed; nominations came from a fixed list of possibilities. Ok, maybe not the website one, but in the paraphrased words of the Beatles, all you need is YAB.

This past week’s topic, however, strayed from the previous model. “Dream Jobs,” as it was introduced will certainly not have the make-up to come up with a group consensus top 5. The reason is simple – no two people have the same dreams. When constraints like training and required skill are removed from the equation, anyone can pretty much put down anything. Mine include turning my hobbies into paychecks, as sports, film, and writing all were manifested into ideal occupations. No one had the same ideas as I. But my co-contributors did manage to throw a few repeat entries onto the list. And strangely enough, above all the others, the number 1 dream job was declared.

Astronaut.

Yeah, as each top 5 came in, it became increasingly apparent that the panel was hoping to fill childhood aspirations and visit outer space. Children are read so many stories about other planets and heroic space travel that I can totally see where my counterparts are coming from. Of course, this is really the perfect dream job. This may be one of the most select cadre of workers that one may find in this country. Missions are so few that shuttle crews happen (maybe) annually, and so many people would like to participate that even the best NASA has gets only one trip out of the atmosphere. Astronauts are extremely cool, but there’s just not the demand so that all of you who wrote this job down will really get to don the big white suit.

Which reminds me…

Just because the missions are few doesn’t mean that you all cannot be astronauts. I just can’t guarantee you’ll spend your best years in outer space. Astronauts are trained in many, many things that the rest of the world will never experience. And just because NASA only get 6-8 people out to the stars a year does not mean that you need to take those skills and let them go to waste. Think of this as a business opportunity. Astronauts can find success in other lines of work. In fact, what if we combined their talents with the number 2 consensus dream job on the list?

Bookstore Owner.

Why you all want to own and manage bookstores is beyond me. It’s just like running any other business, and it most likely will not allow you to read literature while working all day. But what IF you were an astronaut? You could have such a different brand of bookstore that I would guarantee can compete against the giants like Borders and B&N. Here are 5 failsafe ideas for you all to get started on this brilliant cross-breeding of dream jobs.

1. Zero-Gravity Non-Fiction – Face it, those historical epics aren’t flying off the shelves. Encourage people to browse these stacks by creating a chamber that lacks gravity. With shoppers and books floating about, who WON’T want to shop for boring autobiographies?
2. Intergalactic Décor – Every bookstore out there is the same. Light colored walls, soothing music, rows and rows of books. This needs to change. Landscape your store like the moon’s surface. Make book shopping an experience. Especially when shoppers have to climb down into a massive crater to seek out the how-to and cookbook sections.
3. In-store promotions – Like I said, real NASA astronauts may get one shot at going up before retirement. Recruit those who already had their big shot to do in-store promotions like book signings, reading to children, and even work the registers.
4. The new Harry Potter book is coming soon. There’s bound to be a line around the block waiting to come in at midnight and get their copies. Make the wait interesting by letting people enjoy the in-store flight simulator to kill the time. Get Chewbacca to co-pilot.
5. Space Café – You want coffee while reading your magazine or book? Go to Borders. You want Tang and Astronaut Ice Cream? Stay here.