Somewhere in Middle America...

After a brief 2-day assignment on Nordblog, YAB’s favorite phone-artist Chris Nordberg has been entrusted by his current university to represent the Tar Heel Blue at a very important luncheon. A handful of UNC MBAs were put on a plane yesterday to pick the brain of America’s second richest man, Mr. Warren Edward Buffett (not on the plane, but when they land). As you are reading this, he’s probably sitting down to lunch…in OMAHA.

Now, YAB was going to send one of our crack reporters with him to cover the historic event, but approving the expense reports in a business model that has zero discretionary income would require US to be on crack. Who knows what kind of ridiculous dinner tab a correspondent could ring up in Omaha? I hear it’s the Beverly Hills of the Heartland. There’s even a velvet rope to get into Dairy Queen.

Nonetheless, we managed to get a transcript of the conversation Nordberg had with Buffett. Please note – Nordberg spent the weekend in Williamsburg with many of his friends, and there was little time to plan out his prepared questions. Looks like he just shot from the hip. Well…you’ll see.

Chris Nordberg: Wow, Mr. Buf-fay, it’s an incredible pleasure to meet you.
Warren Buffett: Why thank you, Chris – but I can tell that you must be hungry for lunch. My last name is pronounced Buf-fett.
CN: Oh, I understand. So you’re related to Boba Fett. That’s pretty cool. I guess that begs the question – how did you choose a career as an investment banker over bounty hunting? I find my self struggling with that very question in my career.
WB: Son, you’re mind is racing a million miles a minute, calm down. We’re in Omaha. The most exciting thing that happens here are crop circles. My name is Warren Buffett, and I’m open to all questions you may have.
CN: Oh, sorry. I haven’t had any Mountain Dew in the last 24 hours.
WB: That’s okay, Chris. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Mountain Dew is a product of the Pepsi Company. I am a large-percentage owner of the Coca Cola Company, and I support my investment by knocking back about 5 Cherry Cokes a day. I don’t look down on you because you haven’t recently consumed a rival product.
CN: I appreciate it. Ok, my first REAL question would be that you have a most impressing resume, and I am trying to gauge my path to the top, at 26 years of age, to see where I am in comparison to you.
WB: That wasn’t a question.
CN: Fine. How much were you worth at 26?
WB: In 1956, I was worth $140,000 after investing $9k three years earlier. Granted, that’s in 1950’s money. It was an impressive run, in which I accidentally bought and sold Sri Lanka. I was young and inexperienced. But you learn from your mistakes.
CN: I agree. I’ve made my share of mistakes. There was this one time where I let Chris Condon make up a conversation between a billionaire and myself since there aren’t phones in Omaha and he needed some blog material.
WB: Is that this conversation?
CN: Nah, that was with Bill Gates. This one is real. So what is it like to be brothers with a musician? Are you guys twins?
WB: I don’t have a brother.
CN: Yes you do. Jimmy. I bet that Cherry Coke of yours tastes damn good after a cheeseburger in paradise.
WB: Son, we’re of no relation. In fact, I think we’re done here. Guards!

And that is the story of how Chris Nordberg got banned from Omaha.