Vehicular Car-ma Revisited

Back in June, I imparted my own personal LAW of Vehicular Car-ma. Without a publisher in tow, I’ve been quick to publish my own intellectual findings for the readers of YAB, and the premise that there is an inherent transportation balance in the world was one of them. Just to review (and to make sure copy-paste still works), here’s the Law in its entirety once more.

1. There is no such thing as luck when driving.
2. Positive and negative occurrences when driving yield a zero-sum equation.
3. Honking your horn will not affect your Car-ma.

When scientific laws are published, the scientist is often required to present real-life scenarios to back up their findings. Back in June, I skated through the “Post New Entry” phase of publication without even thinking about it. I guess that’s one of the perks of being your own editor.

It’s time for some facts.

Last Saturday, the Law of Vehicular Car-ma took to the friendly skies. As Katie and I attempted to catch a plan to Portland, Maine, we saw the law put into action. Here’s the basic itinerary information you need to understand this tale. The flight is at 8:15. It goes from Dulles to Portland. Condon is sleepy.
As we left our apartment with 7 bags ski-fun at 6:34 AM, the 10 minute ride to Dulles’ economy parking lot was smooth and fast. By driving and parking for $9/day, I had calculated that we would ultimately save $14 over taking the taxi (plus we got control of the in-car radio.) We found the bus to the terminal, and it was even heated. Car-ma is UP!

Getting into the terminal at 7:00 we still have an hour and fifteen minutes to get checked in, feast on an airport Cinnabons and Starbucks. That plan was dashed when we found that the United line snaked not only around the clever maze design, but also around the back of the terminal, past the US Air desk, through the front door, down the Dulles Toll Road, and ended somewhere in Bethesda, Maryland. (I might be exaggerating – I had Cinnabon on the brain) That’s a downgrade for our travel plans. Car-ma is EVEN!

After a half-hour of standing line, the electronic message boards over the counter start flashing a prophecy of Car-matic doom: “45 Minute Baggage Cutoff.” After finding a supervisor (who I might add, could single-handedly start an E-A-G-L-E-S cheer with her volume) curtly informed us that because we hadn’t checked in, we had missed out flight and we would need to rebook. Demoralized, we moved to the re-book line, where from the general demeanor of the others in line, you’d think we were forced to watch Jennifer Lopez do Shakespeare. Car-ma is DOWN!

Once re-booked on the noon flight to Portland, we realized we now have all morning to kill in the Dulles Terminal. Why not start with looking at the big board of departures. Sure enough, there were two flights on the board to Portland – our new one and the old 8:15 one. But wait – what’s that? The old one’s BEEN DELAYED until 9:30??? Dude, we’re so getting back on that flight – that’s plenty of time to check baggage!!! After talking with the supervisor again, she made the arrangement to get our baggage into the correct holding pen and our tickets re-booked. Forget EVEN, Car-ma is UP!

That’s Vehicular Car-ma. No matter what transpired, we were on our original flight bound for Portland, Maine – with extra time to eat breakfast, wake up more fully, and even buy a Brad Meltzer book from the airport Borders for the trip. But remember the rules of the Law – we are currently UP, but V.C. is a zero-sum equation.

This explains why three bags didn’t make it on our plane. EVEN!