Academy Shmecademy Part II

Yeah, this is getting up late. But you’ve got to realize, Brendan Fraser is on the West Coast, so I cut him some slack when he agreed to review the Best of the Rest of this year’s Academy Awards. Ok, Mr. Monkeybone, the blog is all yours. Don’t break anything, ok?

Thanks, Chris. Because brevity is not the soul of Oscar recapping, let’s jump right back in to this, shall we?

Best Foreign Language Film
Don’t Tell – 0%
Joyeux Noel – 15%
Paradise Now – 35%
Sophie Scholl – Final Days – 5%
Tsotsi – 45%

Who Chris picked: Tsotsi
Who Brendan picked: Dudley Do-Right (it was in Canadian)
Analysis: Some years, like the Crouching Tiger year, there is a clear cut favorite. As a member of the Academy, let me allow you to know my voting rule for this category: I always vote for what I cannot pronounce.

Best Sound Editing
King Kong – 55%
Memoirs of a Geisha – 25%
War of the Worlds – 20%

Who Chris picked: King Kong
Who Brendan picked: King Kong
Analysis: When I was trying to watch MY movie, Crash, I could hear King Kong in the next theater over. That’s one loud monkey. I also heard he based his cries of glee after my character in Encino Man.

Best Sound Mixing
Chronicles of Narnia – 20%
King King – 35%
Memoirs of a Geisha – 0%
Walk the Line – 35%
War of the Worlds – 10%

Who Chris picked: Walk the Line
Who Brendan picked: King King
Analysis: Ok, I didn’t really pick the monkey here. I just figured Walk the Line was all about sound, but I’m ticked off at Condon. His Brendan Fraser theory nearly destroyed me in the late 90’s. More on that later.

Editor’s Note: Hey Brendan, you almost destroyed yourself.

Best Visual Effects
Chronicles of Narnia – 50%
King Kong – 50%
War of the Worlds – 0%

Who Chris picked: King Kong
Who Brendan picked: Chronicles of Narnia
Analysis: This was a ridiculous year for visuals. Sin City, Star Wars, Fantastic Four, Kingdom of Heaven, Harry Potter, Crash – yeah, I said it – CRASH. There were some killer visuals there. I looked respected!

Best Costume
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – 10%
Memoirs of a Geisha – 70%
Mrs. Henderson Presents – 0%
Pride and Prejudice – 10%
Walk the Line – 10%

Who Chris picked: Geisha
Who Brendan picked: The Mummy
Analysis: What do you mean it wasn’t eligible? C’mon! They had that guy dressed like a mummy! Layer upon layer of gauze! Did Johnny Cash wear gauze? No! (I am not a smart man.)

Best Makeup
Chronicles of Narnia – 75%
Cinderella Man – 5%
SW: Episode III – 20%

Who Chris picked: Chronicles of Narnia
Who Brendan picked: Darth Vader is mean.
Analysis: Ok, so since no one cares about makeup, I’ll break out Condon’s theory. Simply put, if a movie has Brendan Fraser in it, avoid at all costs. The theory practically became law when Mummy Returns came out and made his list of one of the 5 Worst Movies Ever.

Best Documentary Short
Death of Kevin Carter – 15%
God Sleeps in Rwanda – 65%
The Mushroom Club – 10%
A Note of Triumph – 10%

Chris picked: A Note of Triumph
Brendan picked: Quiet American
Analysis: Damn analysis. Like I was saying, Condon admits tat the Brendan Fraser theory does have some holes. With Honors, School Ties were parts of my earlier work that I wasn’t being myself yet. That’s why we are not in the Law stage, like David Arquette.

Best Documentary Feature
Darwin’s Nightmare – 0%
Enron: Smartest Guys… - 5%
March of the Penguins – 85%
Murderball – 10%
Street Fight – 0%

Chris picked: Friends of Mario Lemieux
Brendan picked: Penguins ARE cute.
Analysis: So these guys brought penguins up on stage? Did you see the sound guys bring a giant monkey? Did George Clooney bring Quaker State? Did Reese go straight from Point A to B? Did Sandra Bullock and I collide on stage? Why are we being so literal?

Best Animated Short
Badgered – 0%
The Moon and the Sun – 30%
Jasper Morello – 45%
9 – 10%
One Man Band – 15%

Chris picked: Moon and the Sun
Brendan Fraser: Monkeybone was ANIMATED AND SHORT!
Analysis: But then Condon saw Blast from the Past and Crash over the last year, and apparently his theory is breaking down quickly. I’m not such a bad guy. I just picked bad projects for a while. I think I’m related to Allison Fraser, too, so I’ve got that goin’ for me.

Best Short Film
The Runaway – 20%
Cashback – 15%
The Last Farm – 5%
Our Time is Up - 40%
Six Shooter – 20%

Chris picked: The Runaway
Brendan picked: (shocker) Good Night and Good Luck
Analysis: Dude, it was like 85 minutes. That should so count.

Best Original Song
In the Deep – 20%
Hard Out Here for a Pimp – 50%
Travelin’ Thru – 30%

Chris picked: Travelin’ Thru
Brendan picked: Do you even need how to ask? I did backing vocals on that one.

Best Art Direction
Good Night and Good Luck – 15%
Harry Potter IV – 10%
King Kong – 5%
Memoirs of a Geisha – 70%
Pride & Prejudice – 0%

Chris picked: Memoirs of a Geisha
Brendan picked: “Weeds in the Juice” (???)
Analysis: Look, I Brendan Fraser, am proud of the analysis I have contributed to YAB’s Oscar analysis. Have I done better that Keanu last year? I’d say yes, but I don’t want to anger the young thespian.

He knows kung fu.