It's pronounced "Eel-lee-nu-wah"

Maybe if I wear some high-tops, I can sneak onto the bench.

In about three hours from now, workforce productivity will take a nosedive, and internet browsers everywhere will be ALT+TABbing their way to constant updates from the first round of th 2006 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, aka March Madness.

And I, your YAB reporter on the spot, just might be playing power forward.
As hinted to an several occasions in the last week, we’re coming to you live from beautiful (yet unseasonably cool) San Diego, California. I’m staying in a hotel with 6 bars of soap, a view of the cove, and several fancy pants restaurants in walking distance from the valet-infested lobby. Even with per diem reimbursement on my side, I wasn’t going to go crazy at fancy places all week. This is why we kicked it at the excellent In and Out Burger just this past Tuesday night. Rental Car, AWAY!

Upon our return to the hotel, we had to wait at the crossing between the lobby and the row of restaurants de pantalones fancymente. There was a crossing that was in progress, and no one likes a car that blows through a block of pedestrians. But it was not chickens, or ducks, or anything of the sort crossing the road. It was a far more imposing presence.

Everyone was over 6’2”.

Sure enough, one of the eight NCAA teams set to play in San Diego today is staying in this very hotel, and dining with fancypants. Now the question remained: which of the eight could it be? For those who have not memorized the bracket back and forth and to and fro, here are the eight colleges tipping off at Cox Arena today.

Air Force Falcons
Alabama Crimson Tide
Belmont Bruins
Illinois Fighting Illini
Marquette Golden Eagles
UCLA Bruins
Utah State Aggies
Washington Huskies

Now, much to my dismay, the mystery team did not choose to wear their uniforms to dinner, and I’m fairly disappointed. It’s the same premise the professional musicians should have to carry their instruments around with them at all time, so that fans get to know more than just the lead singer (Sucks to be you, drummer.)

So without any other clues, here is how we narrowed it down to on team.

First off, this group of young gents was coming out of Fleming’s Steakhouse. This is too risky to be trying out new eateries with such a big game coming up, so Washington is out (it’s the only state of the eight teams that no Fleming’s exists.) Secondly, it’s a STEAKOUSE. These are BIG 16-22 oz. cuts of meat. There is NO WAY that any type of bird, whether an Air Force Falcon or a Golden Eagle of Marquette could down a whole steak. Impossible.

What the hell is an Aggie? No time to find out. It wasn’t them

In addition, a Bruin is a type of bear. And somehow, the two teams of Bruins have been squared off against one another. No matter which one wins, Fleming’s is a classy place, and cannot allow BEARS to inhabit their restaurants. Complete chaos. And while it may be red meat on the menu, there was no one wearing red in this group, which I think is a requirement of Alabama.

So even though they weren’t fighting, it was the Illini of Illinois.