The YABNews team has very few correspondents on hand. While reputable news programs like CBS Evening News and the Daily Show seem to have resident experts on any topic at their complete beck and call. We have no such budget, and therefore no such laundry list of contacts. But as exhibited when YAB and YABNews were just 19 posts young, it turns out that on our speed dial we’ve still got our correspondent for all things Olympic. So without further ado, once again YAB is proud to present our guest blogger live for Torino: YODA.
Because Yoda hates column-style, he returns with an ’06 Games round of quick-hitters.
- Upon us are the Winter Olympics they are. What with them do they bring, hmm? Adventure? Heh. Excitement? Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. Condon is reckless. But only 3 feet tall am I. The remote on the kitchen counter he keeps. Cannot reach and forced to watch I am. Hmm. Yes.
- Remember when I was in Olympics I do. Hoth in 1980. Was very cold, but wore Wookie fur at the Opening Ceremonies I did. Not flattering on a Jedi, Wookie fur. But more fashionable than weird mascots I find. Look like the offspring of a Rancor and a stormtrooper.
- Bode Miller has much to lean in the ways of Medaling. Powerful he has become, yet the dark side I sense in him. Once he starts down the dark path, forever it will dominate his destiny, consume him it will. Disqualifications, turned ankles, slow result times, Bode has much to learn. The dark side has compelled him, made its mark it has. A Bodeist, Yoda is not. But there is another.
- Bode has not a sister, but a teammate. Julia Mancuso shows great promise in the Force. Won the Giant Slalom she has. But make her a Princess, does that? No matter, Yoda has vision of Julia with a tiara. Silly-looking she is. Like the time I accidentally dropped an X-Wing on Master Luke’s foot. Laughed for many hours we did. *Nordberg does a masterful impression of my laugh. Ask him you must.*
- Pete Fenson is Yoda’s new hero. Curling is a game that can be played at any age, even 900 as I am. A bronze medal the Americans have earned. Now they must spread knowledge they have to the young Padawans, the women. Much potential have they. Hope one can they will be come wise in the Force, use it for good and for awesome. (Channeled Strong Bad, Yoda just did.)
- American hockey not a disappointment, contrary to many in the galaxy’s beliefs. Not expected to medal they were not. Transition year it has been. Young prospects they are hopeful for, as Jabba the Hutt shall play goal in 2010. Bigger shock it is to Canada to be gone as of now. Lost to Switzerland they did in the round robin. Major upset the Maple Leafs have fallen to. Unmatched since rebel force destroyed an empire.
- In closing, Yoda has been very happy with the Olympics. Always watching I am, as Dagobah now gets NBC in HD. Have to sign off, as bobsled is today. Rooting for the Jawas I will be, who have hollowed out R2-D2 as a sled.
Note: Outside the Trilogy, Yoda ‘s favorite flick is Cool Runnings. We here at YABNews hoped you enjoyed our guest blogger. He meant you no harm.
No comments:
Post a Comment