For Immediate Release

Press Release, dated December 3, 2004; 4:38 PM

To: All Media Outlets, Both National and International

RE: YAB not a BALCO client

To whom it may concern,

There has been much speculation and revelation in the news in regards to the use illegal substances that may enhance the performances of blogs. These substances have been banned for some time by the International Federation of Blogs, and in no way should be incorporated into the production of a daily-run blog. Blogs on steroids are a dangerous thing, that affect the entire blogging community, and all efforts to remove such substances from circulation are fully supported.

These performance enhancers have the following effects on daily posts. First, posts, under the influence of BALCO's nefarious products, grow to be bigger and longer than the average post. One paragraph can easily turn into 6, and two or three topics can be strung together, to be treated as one, only to be read by unsuspecting followers. Second, words are more easily made up, incorporating the word "blog" in them. This shows how the blog takes over the entire writing style while on these substances. And thirdly, hyperlinks pop up without reason or explanation. With these substances, as Barry Bonds has described them as "the cream" or "the clear", the blog tries to extend itself as much as possible, linking to other web sites around the world wide web with the greatest of ease.

We here are YAB want to quell the rumors before the accusations start flying. This blog in no way whatsoever, uses steroids in order to achieve the length and the frequency that loyal readers have become accustomed to. It is true that a case against YAB would be compelling. Looking at the le ngth of the first week of posts, compared, to say, any week in the last 6, it seems that words have doubled and tripled themselves without real reason. YAB would like to state on the record that the real reason for this is twofold. One, the writer has no control of his verbosity. Two, the writer takes on projects that are long in nature without thinking things through (the Curses of Major League Baseall? What was I thinking?)

In response to the second and third bloggasigns, it appears that YAB is guilty on these two additional counts. "Blogtastic," "blogmine," and others have snuck their way into the text found within, and it seems that this website is doing everything it can to link to every last page ever created at the Internet Movie Database. Please understand that steroids are not the reason; it's just the writers over'reliance on said site for obscure cinematic trivia.

We here at YAB feel we have cleared ourselves of any charges, and look forward to providing you with your week-day morning diversion you have come to expect.

Not on the Juice,
Condon