Friday, January 21, 2005

Cond-nominations 2005

At 8:30 on Tuesday morning (don't let may freaky back-dating fool you), the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will reveal to the world who has merited a nomination for the 77th Annual Oscars. For once, Hollywood will wake up at the crack of dawn to make sure that their ceremony is the centerpiece of each and every network's morning news show. From the Today Show to Good Morning America to even Cold Pizza, about a half hour will be spent letting the world, and all of us at YABNews who has a shot to go home with Oscar.

We're talking the gold statuette, since most other Oscars have plans and as a result are not scheduled to appear. The one they call Grouch got into a red carpet fight last year when working as a Fashion Expert for E!. Funny story. Apparently, Gollum showed up in a clashing blue tie-black coat set and the Grouch commented a little too loudly. Gollum, seizing the microphone (apparently like the ring, it was also his Precious), knocked the Christian Dior Trash Can the Grouch was wearing out from under him, and a case of indecent exposure ensued. He is to be replaced by Star Jones this year...Oscar de la Hoya is training for Eastwood's next boxing flick, Billion Dollar Baby, and Oscar Mayer, as with most red carpet galas, never makes it past hor d'oeurves. That leaves the Golden Boy himself.

In a valiant effort to top my 80% correct benchmark of 2003, I now present to you, the loyal blogophiles, the Cond-nominations for '05.

Best Picture
The Aviator
Finding Neverland
Hotel Rwanda
Million Dollar Baby
Sideways

While I think Eternal Sunshine was excellent, and Ray is probably pretty good, I'd be more than pleased if these five are picked. I'd also be more than pleased if I never have to see House of Flying Daggers again. Eech.


Best Actor
Don Cheadle, Hotel Rwanda
Johnny Depp, Finding Neverland
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Aviator
Jamie Foxx, Ray
Paul Giamatti, Sideways

Clint Eastwood deserves a nod without a doubt, but this is a strong field, and he'll get his due in the Director category. Apologies to Jasen and Jon, but neither Harold nor Kumar will get their big break here.

Best Actress
Annette Bening, Being Julia
Catalina Sandeno Moreno, Maria Full of Grace
Imelda Staunton, Vera Drake
Hilary Swank, Million Dollar Baby
Kate Winslett, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I really want to put Uma Thurman in here instead of Moreno, but I don't think there's enough to displace a SAG nominee.

Best Supporting Actor
Alan Alda, The Aviator
Thomas Haden Church, Sideways
Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby
Freddie Highmore, Finding Neverland
Clive Owen, Closer

This is where I am at my strangest. I think the Academy is ready to hand the Best Actor to Foxx, so his Collateral turn will be slighted. I think Oscar loves a kid, so Highmore is in, pulling the groundswell of Neverland together for a nom. For some reason, (other than he looks like the Nordbergs' dad), I think Alan Alda gets a John C.Reilly-type support to get spot number 5.

Best Supporting Actress
Cate Blanchett, The Aviator
Laura Linney, Kinsey
Virginia Madsen, Sideways
Sophie Okenedo, Hotel Rwanda
Natalie Portman, Closer

Hey we need Okenedo in this field. After all, we need someone I can't pronounce al la Agadashaloogalu last year. That, and Streep is very pronounceable.

Best Director
Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby
Marc Forster, Finding Neverland
Taylor Hackford, Ray
Alexander Payne, Sideways
Martin Scorcese, The Aviator

Stephen Herek, the directorial mastermind behind the Mighty Ducks, did not make a movie this year. As a result, Scorcese has a shot.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Closer
Finding Neverland
Million Dollar Baby
Sideways
Very Long Engagement

Nothing interesting to say here. So, in interesting's absence, Nordberg=Phoning It In.

Best Original Screenplay
The Aviator
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Hotel Rwanda
Kinsey
The Incredibles

All animated screenplays are written on Etch-a-Sketches. This, by itself, should do the trick for Pixar.

Now we patiently wait for the announcements...good night all.

4 comments:

jdrogers said...

Harold and Kumar were robbed. Likewise, John Cho and Kal Penn (choose your leading and supporting designees amongst yourselves) for their rousing good turns as the affable pair of cheeseburger-desiring, fun-having, marijuana-saturated chums. As Stephen Hunter paraphrased Jasen Andersen in the Washington Post*, "This movie represents the 'Ferris Bueller' of our generation." Never since the Oscar shun of 'Lord of the Rings' have we witnessed such an atrocity.

...I've just been informed that 'Lord of the Rings' actually won some Oscars. My bad. I was confusing it with 'Spaceballs.' ALWAYS doing that.


*He didn't really say this, of course. He probably wouldn't urinate on fine cinema like this, even if it was on fire.

jdrogers said...

AND, furthermore, I don't see flicks like 'The English Patient' or 'Shakespeare in Love' having enough tasteful and creative veracity to produce an additional extreme, unrated version, as has been offered by HKGTWC (as we "in the know" call it). Bring it.

Anonymous said...

Jasen says..."Come on, Pookie; we're going to burn this m----- f----- down!"

Piranha said...

I loooove Alan Alda!!!! Wheee!!!!