The Backtrack Scale

It’s been a while since YAB has printed something useful. I mean, it’s nice to how to fend off stupid deer in the mountains of Pennsylvania, but honestly, what are the chances that you, the reader, will need to put this method into use anytime soon? So in the name of reader education, we take today to unveil a useful tool that YABLabs has developed with the time-crunched individual in mind. And after you read this, we hope that word-of-mouth publicity spreads so far and so quickly that people will be knocking down the doors of Palm and Blackberry. This is, what they call in the software business, a “killer app.” (Well, I don’t know if they still use that term, but I heard it on some video in CP class in high school. Who knows.) I present to you “The Backtrack Scale.”

First, some background on the Backtrack. No invention should ever be created unless it fills a specific need in human society. Well, I have found the problem that this invention has been created to solve is a recurring one, and for once, affects more than just me. Let me use the following example to illustrate the very plight The Backtrack Scale aims to eradicate.

This past Sunday, at the tailend of the Weekend of Driving, I was blazing down the homestretch. Soon we would be at Katie’s in Manassas, and I could finally detach the gas pedal from the bottom of my foot. The final stage of the trip had been moving at record time, and I was pleased with the time I had been making. But then, almost intentionally inserted into the placidity as a clever plot twist, my busted-up cell phone rang. It was a call from home, thanking us for making the trip up for the graduation party and to inform me that they had forgot to send my packing with the leftovers to conquer all leftovers: Buffalo wings from Pic-a-lilli’s in Medford. So here I am, my serenity dashed, now knowing that I could have had wings for dinner all week.

But then hope entered the picture – what if I turned back and got them right then and there? Is that a good time management move, or just crazytalk?

What a quandary that experience can be. You’ve left something behind, and with each additional minute of decision making you grow farther and farther from where that something has been left. Time is of the essence here – only a spontaneous in-the-moment decision will do. Let’s rule at magic, emotion, thought, and logic. This leaves us with, you guessed it, The Backtrack Scale. It’s math, stupid!

f(BT) = (D x AQ)H

Function of Backtrack Score equals a calculable number that should be referenced with table that would be part of this software program. The general rule is that the higher the score, the more likely you must return to your point of origin to retrieve the item. It’s a simple enough equation, but you must decide how much each of the factors is worth.

D – Distance – This one is pretty simple. Using a scale of 1 to 5, decide how far away you’ve gotten from the thing you forgot. The higher the score the closer you are to home, the lower the score the farther you have already strayed. A 5 is within 10 minutes of home. A 4 is within 10-20. A 3 is within 20-1 hours. A 2 is within 1-2 hours, and a 1 is more than 2 hours. Simple enough, right?

AQ – Awesome Quotient – This measures how much better your life will be if you go back and get the thing you left. Again, it’s a 1-5 scale, and the higher the score, the more awesome your backtracking was.

A 5 is something you can’t live without, a real need. Example: keys to get into your apartment when you get home.
A 4 is something you feel you need, but it’s just something you want very badly. Example: your pants.
A 3 is something you want greatly, and would be very happy if you had it with you. Example: wings from Pic’s.
A 2 is something that you could find very useful if you had it, but will get by without it for the time being. Example: your mp3 player.
A 1 is something that you remembered you forgot, but you know you have an acceptable substitute to tide you over. Example: A DVD, CD or Frisbee.

H – Hour Factor – This is a multiplier to take into account the time of day. Returning to the scene of the miscue is a better idea when it is still light out, as you will have more time to finish up the trek before midnight. If it is already nighttime, going back will result in a superlong night. If it is daytime, multiply your product of the other two by 1.25. If it is nighttime, multiply by .75.

Ok, now for the most important number. 9. 9 is the score the Backtrack Scale must clear in order to make your pull a U-Turn and head on home. Below 9? No, man, it’s just not worth the extra gas.

So here’s my current example: At this point I am more than 2 hours from my starting point, so that’s a big 1 on the Distance Factor. But I do like wings, and I’ll give them a 3. Multiply them together, you’ve only got 3. Compound that problem with the fact it’s nighttime, and that 3 becomes a 2.25. Not even close to 10. Looks like I made the right choice after all.