And as the comment board gets riled up again, I see that it's the trivial things in life that gets one's goat. Yeah, there's a realistic cliche. Like we all have personal friendgoats, and they remain solely our property until something as minimal as soda wars or candy-coated candy colors comes along and swipes our barnyard friends. Of all the people I've ever met in my life, I have never once been introduced to their friendgoat. Looks like the trivial world has gotten the best of the entire human race, and there's some big goat warehouse somewhere that is managed by Insignificant Industries. I demand to see this warehouse, Or on second thought, I'll forgo the tour in order to finish this post. Yeah, I'll let sleeping does lie.
You do realize I have another 'graph in me to blow apart that one too, but we've got more important fish to fry.
Damn. Did it again.
Ok, enough with the animal idioms (animidioms?). Let's talk soda. Despite what looks like is going to be a divisive split that will rival the toaster issue, choice of cola is not one of those allegiances I hold that close to my personality. Do I have a preference? Of course - the blue can. There's a slight edge and taste, and a major edge in "scrumtrilesence." I must admit I originally welcomed Pepsi as a Supreme Cola Chancellor potential candidate thanks to their cunning promotion with Star Wars Episode I back in the summer of '99. And much to my parents' dismay, still in my room at home is a 24 can display case, proudly revealing two dozen soda cans with character faced emblazoned on them. Call it worthless memorabilia if you want, but it solidified Pepsi as my Emperor in the Cola Wars.
Oh, and if you think I'm overusing Star Wars terminology, just wait until tomorrow. George Lucas will be serving me with a copyright suit. Three piece.
So everyone's got their favorite soda, there's no doubt about that. And I weren't so price-conscious when purchasing soft drinks at the supermarket, I may be able to be on one side of the fence or the other. The general rule of thumb is to face the side of the yard that has 12-packs on sale for $2.99, regardless of aluminum color. I’m a lot happier if it happens to be Pepsi products, but I’ll deal otherwise (much like my lunch yesterday.)
In the Soda World, it’s the Hatfields and the McCoys. There’s two large families that have bitter enemies across town and people are choosing sides. Now the bizarre thing about these two clans is that more times than not, each side has a near-exact rival. And it is in this direction we take the blog today. A tale of the tape, Coke vs. Pepsi.
COKE vs. PEPSI: I think I’ve already said my piece on this battle of family figureheads. EDGE: PEPSI.
DIET COKE vs. DIET PEPSI: I’m not a fan of either, really. If you want something with no calories and no taste, drink water. But even though Smith will cry bloody murder on this one… EDGE: COKE
C2 vs. PEPSI ONE: My mom used to buy P-1, and I recall a specific summer when we tried to film that movie that we used a whole box of it as a prop. That case went unused on Boblitt’s back porch for about 3 years before it eventually got deep sixed. EDGE: COKE
SPRITE vs. SIERRA MIST: Sprite has such a bland taste to it, at least Sierra Mist has some flavoring. On top of that, Sprite is pushing their product with a Lil’ LeBron that shouts Lil’ Penny rip-off. Recycling a marketing campaign gets you nowhere. EDGE: PEPSI
CHERRY COKE vs. WILD CHERRY PEPSI: Coke’s strongest product wins in a mismatch against a Pepsi product that just revamped its formula. Apparently, they added extra suck. EDGE: COKE
BARQS vs. MUG: Neither of them are A&W or Stewart’s, but I’d much rather go with Mug, considering I once got pulled over for drinking a Barq’s in a car. Long story. EDGE: PEPSI
DASANI vs. AQUAFINA: It’s water, stupid. It’s the same stupid water. PUSH
FANTA vs. SLICE: I really detest the taste of Slice orange soda. In fact, Diet Slice almost made me want to never drink soda again. Like citrus-tinted seltzer. Fanta got me through two weeks in Europe. Oh, and that Fantana song has been stuck in my head since 2002. EDGE: COKE
MINUTE MAID vs. TROPICANA: After reviewing the selection in my grocer’s juice aisle, one of these two is clearly juice, while the other is clearly an imposter. EDGE: PEPSI
And Finally:
MELLO YELLO vs. MOUNTAIN DEW: Come on! This is the series clinching game?!? I think we just found our carbonated equivalent of Kansas City Royals vs. the New York Yankees. EDGE: PEPSI
It’s a 5-4 win for the boys in blue. Meanwhile, apparently Dr. Pepper has no friends.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
12 Oz. Blog
Written by Chris Condon at 4:03 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER. You OBVIOUSLY don't drink enough diet pepsi to have an opinion! :)
Also, C2 vs Pepsi One is unfair. You have to compare C2 to Pepsi Edge. Hell, it has EDGE right in the title, so Edge has to win, right?
Oh, and one other thing, Dasani has a wierd plastic taste to it (I think it might be the plastic they use in the bottles.) I'd take aquafina every time, and that was before I knew that one was a coke product and one was a pepsi. Lace will back me up on this, it just tastes wierd. Man, all kinds of holes in your theory. It isn't even close in this race :)
C2 is actually a decent product, even if I had used Edge, I would have given the vote to Coke on that one. Shazam!
Fair Enough on the C2. Since I don't actually LIKE regular soda, I've never tried either that claim to be closer to regular soda than diet. Give me the full on, cancer causing, diet tasting soda anyday.
FANTA!!!
Oh, and I named my personal friendgoat after you - it's called "Kikikins".
I have to disagree with you on the Mug vs. Barq's. Mug has none of the licorice EDGE that makes root beer what it is. It is so sweet it just tastes like liquid caramel. Besides, the variety of root beers in the world is so great, that comparing Barq's to Mug is like comparing Pinot Noir to White Zinfandel. They aren't even in the same category, but if they were, Pinot Noir would win. So, either Coke gets the edge, or it's a push. No way Pepsi gets this one.
Pretz. I choose Pepsi based on taste, not marketing. But I do agree Coke's advertising is marginally better, though neither of them would I say is great. I do like the polar bears, though. I mean, these pretty evolved polar bears. Not only have they supressed their natual instinct to tear a baby seal to shreds and instead toss beach balls with them, but they now have opposable thumbs to pick up bottles (and beach balls). All from drinking Coke. By the way, it must be said, the new GE commercial where the elephant is dancing to Singing in the Rain is really good. I don't usually go for the animal ads (animads?), but that one is great.
Come on, Mr. C. Didn't you see Sideways?
Okay, Kikikins, I'm sure the Dr. Pepper comment was aimed at me. And I would like point out that it has 2 friends, me and Mr. Pibb - or, it used to be called Mr. Pibb, I think it switched to Pibb-Xtra or something. Either way, it sucks.
And watch out for my friendgoat "iheartshinyheads" - he's permanently on the offensive with you. All the Speedwagon mockery he's come to terms with, but you may have pushed it to far with the Dr Pepper comment.
Post a Comment