And despite Condon’s efforts to continue with the daily blog in one of his busier weeks in recent memory, it seems that many of you were denied last night of your everyday funny bringing. From around 8 o’clock on (or roughly after the last Nordcomment had been filed), anyone who came to visit this site was greeted with a Blogger page that provided no useful information as to YAB’s whereabouts. I’d complain to Blogger, as I know the nightwatch readers are many in number, but that would fall in the realm of ungratefulness. It would be like getting invited to a party and then harping on the host that the Doritos are only Cool Ranch, when you really have a hankering for some Cooler Ranch.
Yeah, like there’s a difference.
Not only were you force to spend your Internet diversion time elsewhere, even the Grand Master Blogger was unable to access his own site. Nope, no chance of catching up a day last night. Blogger had stolen the keys to my creation and took it for a joy ride, it seems. But I guess when I store the YAB Mobile in their garage, it’s likely that was going to happen. But why last night, of all nights? I decided to find out.
Dude, where’s my YAB?
After a good, ok we’ll say three minutes of super sleuthing, my blog’s disappearance was explained. It wasn’t a joy ride at all. Had it been a joy ride, there would have been more posts than before, racking up the blogodometer. I would have found scuff marks on the tagline, the links would have been soot-covered, and my comment-counting fluid would be at a record low. This blog wasn’t out cruising the Information Superhighway! It was in the shop!
Turns out every 200 posts, the Standard Blog Operating Manual suggests you take your journal-vehicle in for its tune-up and preventative maintenance. What does this service prevent, you ask? After so much day-in, day-out wear and tear, a blog has the tendency to not run as well as it did when you first drove it off the lot. Nothing may necessarily wrong with your baby, but you can be sure that the blogchanics will find something that could use a little tweaking. Well, this morning when I woke up I was delighted to see that the inspection and service has been completed, and YAB was sitting back on my homepage, where it comfortably belongs. So, uh, what’s the damage, doc?
As I sat down in the blog chair this morning, I wondered what the diagnosis was for this freshly-tuned funny machine. And there it was, as clear as a convenient plot device: my bill. Sitting on the dash, (the bill, not Condon), I picked it up and read to my horror what I owe.
First, the invoice says that my funny gear is stalling. What the heck does that mean? Turns out the blogchanic’s couldn’t find the comedy in the E-mail post – missing a punch line belt. As for the Star Wars summer movie preview, YAB was apparently the victim of a clogged funny valve – this causes an otherwise good idea to operating slower and to a lower level of effectiveness. Well, that’s no good. That’s no good at all. The engine typically produces finely-tuned blog ideas, but a cloudy valve hinders the execution. Good thing they fixed that.
Apparently, I had no idea that my tagline blades needed replacing. Last week’s involved a chicken, a train, and playing one with the other. The blades had become dull and a little to obscure. The shop insists I help those uninformed with music on the cutting edge, and let them know that Cowboy Troy is THE man. Check him out. Ok, I hope this week’s music reference is a little more obvious.
It also says here that YAB’s prize tank is overflowing! Due for an seeming inability to work in the news you’ve been waiting for into my ramblings, the second YAB Century Quiz has been up in the air since, well, the presentation of the second YAB Century Quiz. With a tank full of swag, maybe that’s what’s been slowing me down. So let’s get on with the awards. Since “Mr. C” took the first quiz hands-down (and sadly unopposed), he’ll also be a recipient of this prize. But the second quiz victory shall be declared in two names. And those names are: Jasen Andersen and Anne Pretz. Both were able to answer all 20 questions correctly, without mis-spelling a single thing or insisting that an answer was “too long to type out” and give me a “here’s the link instead.” Congrats to the both of you. Please e-mail me your shirt size, and you will receive a YAB t-shirt (coming to a CafePress YAB store near you.)
So that’s the work that was done on the blog. Maybe I’ll take it back in to the body shop around July. Definitely could use a fresh coat of paint.
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