Give me a D.E.E.

Let’s knock this one out before I got swallowed up in work today. Gulp.

There’s nothing more frustrating in the world of finance than knowing you did everything on your end to ensure a project goes smoothly, only to find that some unnamed person elsewhere was careless on their end and allow the whole process to spiral chaotically out of control. In my job, time management is what makes the world go ‘round, and discretionary time between projects is a rare resource. So when I have to do extra work even after I’ve ensured my part by getting it done in advance, this error can throw my routine into a tailspin and my stapler across the room. I suppose it’s the equivalent to witnessing a car collision on the way to work. Totally unplanned for and there’s now nothing I can do to get back on schedule.

Since no one is in this game to maliciously slow me down, or in the words Matthew Wilder, gonna break-ah my stride, we must attribute this to carelessness. Welcome to the wonderful world of Date Entry Error.

Data Entry Error is a product of have too much to type and too little time to type it in. There is no additional thought process that need be applied, so very often this administrative task can be completed by someone not related and uninformed of the project. The only thing they have to do is turn this information on this paper into that data on that computer. It’s a simple job, and can be fun in short doses. But the instant that short dose becomes long, beware. The fingers keep moving at the same speed, but the thought process does not. And just like that, Chris Condon is sitting at his desk staring at a recent financial calculation that needs to return to Square 1 faster than Ice Cube’s movie career.

But can I chastise the unknowing data entry clerk for his faux pas? Nay. For that would be hypocrisy, which is something YAB cannot stand for. Yeah, my typical “Aim and Mock” approach would be great for blog fodder, if I wasn’t one of them.

Yes, I was once guilty of a crime against data entry.

Now no one was injured or affected adversely because of my typographical oversight, but I was very close to shooting myself in the foot because of it. My D.E.E. took place in the bitter month of January, the year was 2001. The scene – the Philadelphia International Airport. The hilarity – ensued.

Backstory: The best part of being a Monroe Scholar at William and Mary was the opportunity to embark on an independent study venture called a Monroe Project. It was pretty straightforward. Write up a proposal, an itinerary, and once it becomes project greenlit, go forth and learn (all on the College’s dime). Some people discover sculpture in Italy. Others tour the great castles of Scotland. But then there are some who take the project so seriously that they are compelled to tie in their marketing major in the name of higher learning. So that’s what I did – I researched sports marketing in four NHL different cities, and watched a fair share of ice hockey along the way. Yeah, I’m learned alright.

But if I was ever going to get to Columbus, Nashville, St.Paul, or Atlanta before gametime, I was going to have to take an airplane. (Sorry Volvo, my old friend.) In order to take an airplane anywhere, you need a ticket. In order to get a ticket, you need to use an online engine like Travelocity and purchase one. Hopefully, your purchase will be data entry error-free.

Airline Desk Attendant: “Hello sir, may I see your ticket and drivers license, please.” (scans documents) “Um, sir, I don’t believe you are in possession of your ticket. This is a ticket for a Christopher Cpmdpm. Do you know him?”

(I still can’t believe she tried to pronounce my new last name. It was classic.)

Chris Condon: “No, my name is Christopher Condon, I’m sure that’s a mistake.”
ADA: “Well, that’s going to be a problem, because this is not your ticket. This ticket is for a Mr. C-P-M-D-P-M.” (spelled it this time)
CC: (pauses and thinks). Wait. I know what happened. Look at your keyboard. The P and the M keys are directly to the right of the O and the N keys. When I bought the ticket I must not have been paying attention. I assure you this is me.”
ADA: “I don’t understand. (asks manager to come over) Roy, this gentleman is claiming to be the name on this ticket. His name is close, but I’m not sure of his identity.”
CC: “Look, I screwed up typing my name online. I can tell you everything about this flight and what credit card I used. I assure you that my hands were on the wrong keys!”
Manager: “April, let him go, we don’t him to miss his flight to Columbus. Story checks out. Sir, please be more careful next time. We’re not detectives here.”

And yes, those were their real names. I’m that good..