Call it a Hat Trick

Now that Oscar Sunday has been out on the internet for three full weeks, and has been watched an amazing 5,019 times, downloaded another 27, and even caught the attention of one of the writers at Ain’t It Cool News, it’s time to see what we’ve all learned from this little lesson in video parody.

Editing is hard.

Not so much the process, I guess I have to say. I gave myself a crash course on some software, and the end product turned out okay. They key to good editing is even better storyboarding. Fortunately, Spud (who has watched even more movies than me) had the knack for this, and while filming, we laid out much of the final product. It’s also good to not complete restrain yourself so rigid that the editor gets no room for creativity; had that been the case, little stuff – like the subliminal urinal shot – would be on the cutting room floor. However, no matter how much of a neophyte of an expert one is with the editing business, no one makes a perfect movie. Don’t believe me?

Many of the DVDs that have found a home in my collection can be pulled out and popped in to highlight a crucial and often hilarious movie editing mistake. Maybe it’s that the filmmakers are so caught up in their grand opus that they don’t catch those silly oversights. Or maybe it’s just that they know we’ll be talking about their movie for years to come, even if it’s a terrible flick. Regardless, here is a highlighted sample of my film collection, and the movie mistakes that are certainly worth slowing down and taking a second look. In ascending order of excellence:

PIRATES of the CARIBBEAN – When Jack Sparrow is getting his crew together in the middle of the movie, and utters the line, “On deck you scalabrous dogs,” more than just the crew is ready to sail. To the left of Sparrow’s head, in the corner, is just crew member in shades and a cowboy hat just staring vacantly out to sea. Shortly thereafter, he was surely fired. And by fired, I mean he walked the plank.

GLADIATOR – One of the most remarkable scenes in the flick comes when the gladiators are first challenged in the arena, to the tune of arrow-slinging, spear-chucking, Carthaginian chariots. Maximus leads the slaves into military protection formation, figuring their shelter of shields can hold up until the chariots’ horsepower runs out. Lucky for them, the chariots don’t wait that long, as one-by-one, they collide and flip over. When the second one tips and sails into the wall, check out the gas powered cylinder in the back of the cart. They could have gone all day.

STAR WARS – The ultimate movie mistake. While Luke and company are stuck in the garbage compactor, their only hope (no, not Obi-Wan) is the two droids hidden in a command room elsewhere in the Death Star. A set of Stormtroopers march in with their expressionless helmets leading the way. Now the door opens from floor to ceiling, and much to the chagrin of the Stormtrooper on the right, it doesn’t quite go all the way. There’s a reason the Imperial Army had a height cut-off – that one on the right bangs his head on the door something fierce.

OSCAR SUNDAY – Yes, even rookie editors don’t learn. When Spud and I went for a final day of shooting at Potomac Yards, we met over a lunch break. Since I don’t normally wear jeans and a ski coat to work, I had to change clothes for filming. One thing I forgot? The omnipresent green Eagles cap I had worn in every other scene. No time to retreat for props, I hit up Sports Authority for a cheap 4 dollar replacement. Close, but not a replica.

Which is why when I question the abilities of the security guards, and subsequently broke in the back, my hat has gone from green to blue.

Oops.