Identifiving the Guys

Earlier in the week, the Washington Post did a very nice write-up on Five Guys Famous Burgers and Fries, the DC-based burger joint that has quickly expanded throughout the region and to parts unknown (read: Nord Carolina.) Now located in 12 states (It’s in Mt. Ephraim for the Jersey folk), the simple menu and great taste has shown that when you have a quality product, the sky is the limit. (Or in this case, southernmost Five Guys West Palm Beach is.)

Being a DC Metrophile, I have been known to dine at a Five Guys every now and then – having frequented the Manassas, Arlington, and Tyson’s locales at least once. For those who haven’t, it’s a pretty simple formula. They create a high quality burger with as few or as many condiments as you would like. Then you order a cup of fries that are fresh cut from potatoes straight from Idaho. Get a fountain drink that offers Stewart’s root beer as a selection.

Then bask in the glorious greasiness that is your meal.

Two of my classes this spring revolve around the idea of entrepreneurship. One is called New Venture Initiation, and the other is, well, Entrepreneurship. I don’t really have any post-graduate plans to start my own business, or even pester venture capitalists, but there may be some relevancy to other business pursuits; I am thusly enrolled. But I have learned a lot about entrepreneurs, and what it takes to have a start-up venture succeed. And while you may have all the good ideas in the world, the number one thing you need in order to not totally botch your entry to the market is just two words:

Competent. Leadership.

It is leadership that would allow a 20 year-old company to turn a small quintet of locations in Northern Virginia into an East Coast operation that now boasts 87 locations. That doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t happen by luck, either. Whoever is calling the shots is one shrewd and clever businessman. Or businessmen? After all, there isn’t just one CEO of Five Guys – if there were, it would be called One Guy. There are Five Guys in charge of Five Guys, and as a YABNews exclusive, we let you know just which Five Guys they are.

Guy #1 – MAYOR McCHEESE – Turns out McDonaldland has term limits when it comes to their local government, which is what explains why you haven’t seen this big bad burgerhead in any commercial with Ronald in the last ten years or so. Figuring he did all there was to do in politics, he has used his industry experience to help propel this venture.

Guy #2 – JOE GIBBS - The local tie to the DC region, he is the reason that the Nation’s Capital’s Suburbs were chosen as the test market. After winning some Super Bowls, he decides to diversify his portfolio – NASCAR and cheeseburgers. Brilliance.

Guy #3 – BRUCE WILLIS – Calls Idaho his home, which is why the fresh-cut fries always hail from the Gem State. Also brings that no-nonsense approach to managing employees. Hey Bruce, don’t go barefoot though in the stores. Not wise.

Guy #4 – JUGHEAD JONES -- Batting cleanup, we have Archie’s pal who never quite had the money to buy his own burger. He figured if he went into the burger business, he’s 1) have money for burgers and 2) have burgers without needing money. Doesn’t hurt that he’s Mayor McCheese’s nephew.

Guy #5 – KUMAR PATEL – When Joe Gibbs approached the young Indian med student, he initially wanted both Patel and his pal Harold to buy in to the crazy idea. Too bad ‘Roldy was home studying – he missed out big time. EXTREME!