Grande Skim Decaf Business Ideas

No wonder they’re number one.

On my way to work, I pass 4 Starbucks’ in 8 miles. If I were in the city, I’m sure the ratio would be significantly higher. But then again, I’d also be driving my automobile in so much gridlock, I may actually need to take up drinking coffee to deal with the stress, so that may not be such a bad idea. That’s a good business practice for Starbucks, and it may be why they employ such side-by-side franchising opportunities. I honestly can’t say. After all, I’m not a weird looking mermaid with fish hands.

How the hell would I type these things with fish hands?

Anyways, Starbucks has many good business practices that have been well documented for MBA students to study time and time again until they feel like dumping a hot venti macchiato on their heads. There’s the benefits for employees. Then there is the standardization of offerings. And don’t forget the culture and ambience all Starbucks across the country have tried to create. And as my wife would point in, it’s also pretty good coffee.

(Assuming the fish hands thing doesn’t freak you out.)

But when I passed ‘bucks number 3 of 4 today on the way to work, I realized the true magic in the business model. In all non-coffee related tasks of running a business, Starbucks is ingeniously resourceful.

There I was, waiting at a stop light with the Starbucks on my left. One of the employees was standing outside, in front of the large double doors that faces Chain Bridge Road. She was cleaning the large glass portal to the caffeinated kingdom. The Windex in her left hand was sprayed on with forceful accuracy. The towel in her right hand – wait, a minute – that’s no towel – it’s a – a – coffee filter.

She was cleaning the door with a damn coffee filter.

Who needs paper towels, anyway? Not Starbucks. They just use items they’ve got lying around to do secondary functions. That’s both inventive and cost efficient. It got me thinking (at least until I passed the fourth Starbucks on the route). What other resourceful business practices does Starbucks have?

- Who needs a locksmith? Employees are issued coffee stirrers to pick the lock anytime they need to open or close the store on their shift.
- No coasters? There’s got to be boxes of unsold CDs in the back? Barbara Streisand Duets? Anyone?
- In case of flooding or malfunction of the dishwasher, you can stuck the bags of pre-packaged beans on their sides to create a temporary dam.
- What, no stapler? Just place a staple in the nozzle of the espresso machine. That thing packs so much pressure that not only will it go through the paper, it can be used as a crude crime deterrent.
- Pouring coffee in an unmotivated employees lap will motivate them to get up and move far better than any unneeded raise in compensation.