Dueling Previews, Part II

If you didn’t see the post prior to this one, we forgive you. It was posted past your bedtime, and unless you had money riding on the Pittsburgh game, you probably decided rest would be best. But for this post to make any sense whatsoever, it would probably help to scroll down and catch the first installment of our Simultaneous NFL and Fall TV Previews. (And yes, we’re just crazy enough to do it.)

And now, Part II – the rest of the NFC.

NFC East

New York Giants and ‘Til Death (FOX, Thu, 8:00) – You want death this fall? Look at the Giants’ schedule. By far the most daunting, the G-Men will need an over-achieving season out of Eli Manning to make the playoffs in a very tough NFC East. In addition to 6 tough division games, New York will also face Indianapolis, Chicago, and the following teams on the road: Carolina, Seattle, Atlanta, and Jacksonville. Good luck, and be sure to hang on to that ball, Fumbli Barber. But what about ‘Til Death? The title is stupid, and it looks as predictable as hell, but I have a feeling that Brad Garrett will have enough of a draw to get people to give it a shot. And in following CBS’ model of male-driven husband-wife comedies, this is probably going to go the distance. EDGE: ‘Til Death

Washington Redskins and Million Dollar Listing (BRAVO, Tue, 10:00) – The preseason the ‘Skins had should frighten even the most devout of the Washington faithful. The first-team offense failed to score a point, and Brunell is looking like his old shaky self instead of his older composed self again. Patrick Ramsey’s in New York, and they’re not ready to turn things over to Jason Campbell just yet. But this is not about the pre-season, our comparison to Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing relates to their off-season. Million Dollar Listing follows around several real estate agents in Hollywood and Malibu, where we, as commoners, can watch as people with too much money overspend on two bedroom homes because they like to make a big splash. This doesn’t have the lasting power of other Bravo shows. But what of another man who likes to overspend because he likes to make a big splash? Redskins owner Daniel Snyder is paying his coordinators more than most head coaches in the NFL, and Antwaan Randle El is make 26 million over 4 years for less than 30 catches a year. Wow. They’re not playoff bound, but they win this Scrooge McDuck matchup. EDGE: Washington Redskins

Dallas Cowboys and The Wedding Album (FOX, Fri, 9:00) – Not since Mike Ditka and Ricky Williams in a dress on ESPN The Magazine have we experienced such an awkward marriage of personalities in the NFL. Following the coach-player gender roles that preceded them via Ditka, the groom is none other than Bill Parcells – a no-nonsense, great track-record, journeyman head coach that led Dallas back to the playoffs last year with – can this be right – it says here – Drew Bledsoe? On the other side of the aisle, you have an all-nonsense, unproven track record, journeyman wideout named Terrell Owens. You know his deal, so we’ll spare the word count. But what of The Wedding Album, which seems like the one new show Fox hasn’t over-promoted? It’s a situation worthy of a sitcom – like the Wedding Planner – but it’s listed as a drama. And while we think it’s worth giving a shot, we believe that Parcells is too good of a coach to let the Cowboys’ playoff streak get derailed by Owens – yet. EDGE: Dallas Cowboys

Philadelphia Eagles and Jericho (CBS, Wed, 8:00) – Another effort to emulate Lost, Jericho has shown early promise to succeed where Invasion did not. The premise is simple. After a nuclear disaster caused by several terrorist attacks destroys most of America, residents of a small Kansas town must come to terms with a new and very different reality. Is America ready for such a storyline? Probably not. Which means that it’s going to take killer storytelling to get the job done in Jericho. Turning to Philly, the Eagles are responding to their own devastation, a lost 2005 season where everything managed to go wrong. That nuclear terrorist attack that hit the Eagles locker room? He’s been relocated…to Dallas. EDGE: Both will have successful seasons, but we’ll say Philadelphia to make the hometown happy.

NFC West

San Francisco 49ers and Happy Hour (FOX, Thu, 8:30) – Happy Hour is one of those shows that Fox sends out during mid-season every year – not a whole lot of promise, no real stars in the cast, and well, very low expectations. Cheers, this is not. They pick a setting that seems cool (in this case, a local bar at happy hour), install a Friends-like ensemble cast, and pray until American Idol starts again. Yet somehow, this one snuck into Fox’s starting lineup. Many analysts have already predicted this will be the first to go. On the other hand you have the 49ers. They botched the Reggie Bush sweepstakes by winning their last two games of last season, harnessing them with Frank Gore at RB and a slight case of false hope. Sure, there’s little place to go but up, but unless first-round pick and former Terrapin TE Vernon Davis plans on playing linebacker as well, it’s going to be another long year. They better hit the Happy Hour bar and start drinking. Heavily. EDGE: San Francisco 49ers

St. Louis Rams and Brothers and Sisters (ABC, Sun, 10:00) - Can lightning strike twice in Grey’s Anatomy’s old timeslot? It’s a story of grown-up siblings that come together to run the family business once dear old dad passes away has potential. I can’t find what the business is, but it’s probably not a funeral home (Six Feet Under had that angle locked up.) It’s got a solid cast, including Shawnee alum Calista Flockhart, Ron Rifkin, Tom Skerritt and Balthazar Getty. Worth checking out, especially if you’re a Housewives fan. What could go wrong? They could move the show from California to St. Louis, like the Rams did. Consider this a re-building year for the Greatest Show on Turf. EDGE: Brothers and Sisters

Seattle Seahawks and Justice (FOX, Wed, 9:00) – Haven’t heard much from the losers of Super Bowl XL this off-season, have you? Sure, they had All-Pro guard Steve Hutchinson bolt for cash and a boat trip in Minnesota. And yeah, Shaun Alexander scored the cover of Madden ’07. And while we’re at it, they nabbed the prize free agent linebacker Julian Peterson. But you didn’t hear about that this off-season. All we heard about concerning the Seahawks was the media continually playing the “We were robbed!” angle that Mike Holmgren started on Day 1, post-Super Bowl. There were a few controversial officiating calls that went in the favor of the Steelers, and that has left Seattle seeking Justice in 2006. Well, Justice is on Fox this fall, in yet another Bruckheimer-produced drama, the fact that it’s Jerry’s latest does not translate to success, as it has with CSI, Cold Case and Without a Trace. Don’t believe me? Ask the casts of Close to Home, Modern Men, E-Ring, Just Legal, and Skin. EDGE: Seattle Seahawks

Arizona Cardinals and Help Me Help You (ABC, Tue, 9:30) – Which version of Help Me Help You do you want stuck in your head? You have two options. You can pick the comically sad and memorable line from Jerry McGuire, where Tom Cruise tries to help Arizona Cardinals wideout Rod Tidwell as his tireless agent. Or you pick the new ABC sitcom starring Ted Danson, playing a neurotic psychiatrist that helps a crazy cast of eccentric characters with their everyday lives. We know you can go back and watch Jerry McGuire if you care to research, and Help Me Help You is a new show. Of course, you could always watch Ted Danson in Becker, in which he played a neurotic clinic doctor that helps a crazy cast of eccentric characters with their everyday lives. EDGE: Arizona Cardinals

This afternoon: the AFC!