Sweet and Shower

Ain’t nothing more awkward then taking a shower with other people.

Part of the typical American office culture is that when an employee is approaching a major life event in their personal life, someone in the office recognizes this and makes an effort to acknowledge it with an in-house celebration. A person’s birthday happens every year, and a short ceremony of awkward singing and cake usually commences in the office break room. I work in a building with 2,500 other people. Theoretically, that means there’s like 7 of these going on every day. And on Fridays, make that like 20 considering even cake cannot convince people to come in and work on a Saturday.

But for impending weddings and births, your regular office go-getter insists on taking it to the next level. The cake: it gets bigger. Presents, balloons – introduced into the fray. A casual run around the office can no longer gather up the team for the festivities – an Outlook Meeting Maker is required. Yes, it makes birthdays look like any day but.

What you’ve got is a shower.

Whether baby or bridal, the shower serves as a nice gesture that gets everyone involved in sharing the excitement that you currently possess, for whatever imminent occasion that might be. And while that little one on the way or your day to wear a tux or dress may have been decided upon months ago; consider this a perk of the trade. Congratulations! Those who you spend 40 hours a week with want to let you know that they’re rooting you on!

And yet, why do you feel so strange?

Well if you are of the female readership contingent, you probably don’t feel all that awkward. You’re probably elated and touched that while commerce is going on all around, this one conference room has been decked out in streamers and confetti in your honor. All those you work with are just thrilled for you, and as a result, pepper you with questions about the wedding or baby. And since you likely spent the last nine months planning the arrival of either, you are more than happy to show off your hard work and efforts, spilling the details with glee. If there are presents involved, you can pull off that reaction from a gift with class and enthusiasm, something guys have to struggle with.

That is, unless your co-workers managed to buy you something that has nothing to do with housewares or little pajama sets.

If you are of the male readership, the shower situation is slightly more perplexing. This is especially true if your expectant mother/bride to be doesn’t work in the same office and is unable to attend. All that stuff that she is so good at – the compliments, the questions, the well-wishes – now fall to you to field. You’re not at your regular position. Now you’re playing QB and the blitz is on. This is not to say the you’re lacking gratefulness in this scenario – you just can’t pull it off with all the people asking about finer details of your big day. In other words –

It’s everything your normal shower isn’t.

Think about it – when you drag your self out of bed in the morning, the first place you’re headed is to the shower. Unless you’ve got some intramurals or working out on tap later, it’s probably going to be the only shower you have today. And yet, on this one day before your life event, you’re suddenly getting two showers.

One will last 5 minutes, tops, as you work with the precision of a surgeon to clean with speed but efficiency. The other will last an hour and half, and as the guest of honor, you’ll be the last to leave – long after the temperature the room is no longer warm. One will look to eradicate dirt, and the other wants nothing more to dig it up. And finally, one will be a quiet time of introspection, reflection, and occasional singing. The other may include singing, sure, but it will come from all those other people in there with you.

How did you all get in here, anyway?