Dueling Previews, Part III

You know how the American version of “Whose Line Is It Anyway” starts with Drew Carey trying to explain the format of the show? He says something about how the game is played, and the points don’t really matter and in fact, the points are just a way to tie the half-hour of improve bits together? He says this on every episode, and with far less with than the BBC’s Clive Anderson. Ultimately, it’s just wasted words during a time where there could be more of the funny going on.

In lieu of wasting words and explaining what’s going on here at YAB today, just start with Dueling Previews Part I, and then II, and then read below for the first-half of the AFC. In place of another intro – more of the funny. Enjoy.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers and The Winner (FOX, Unscheduled) – While little brother Nate nabbed a supporting role on Aaron Sorkin’s Studio 60, Rob Corddry recorded his final Daily Show two weeks ago, as he too, is moving on. He’s got top billing though in this Fox comedy that should be an October or November replacement for a reality show of something that has revealed itself to score very high on the Suck Scale (Happy Hour?) The premise is simple – Corddry is now an incredibly successful man in 2006 at age 44. And yet, the show is centered in 1994, prior to making it big. He’s still living at home and, as I’m sure, we’ll be re-living the nineties with him. And yet, he’s The Winner. Here’s the problem, though. Most people don’t know Rob Corddry and how funny he is. People do know Brad Garrett, despite being slightly funny. And yet, it will be Corddry’s show that will struggle to find an audience. As for the Super Bowl champs, our records currently show them as the only team in the NFL to have won a game so far. Guess that puts them on the fast track to a repeat title. EDGE: Pittsburgh Steelers

Baltimore Ravens and Knights of Prosperity (ABC, Tue, 9:00) – Donal Logue is getting another try to lead a sitcom. Granted, he’s a funny guy, so we have no problem with that. But this is another one of those series that based on the premise doesn’t seem like it’s going to have any material if it gets picked up. Logue, a local bartender, decides that he can improve his standing in life by a life of crime. Intent on robbing the home of an unnamed celebrity, he and his band of Merry Men will rob from the rich and give to the silly. The NFL is not advocating theft to get ahead, but by looking at the Ravens this season, you’d never guess. Ray “Oh snap, I didn’t see nothin’” Lewis jokes aside, the Ravens committed Grand Theft QB this off-season, pulling Steve McNair from Nashville. We don’t know how bad Logue has it until we see the show, but as for the Ravens, another year of Kyle Boller would be criminal to season ticket holders in Charm City. EDGE: Baltimore Ravens

Cincinnati Bengals and The Nine (ABC, Wed, 10:00) – A hostage stand-off, which we already know lasts 52 hours is being staged after Lost on Wednesdays on ABC. Some of those being held against their will? The big lack guy from Gone in 60 Seconds, a pilot from Wings, and Saved by the Bell glee club alum Scott Wolf will be there, to name a few. This is the one drama-thriller that seems innovative (ok, this and Jericho) and riding the Losties’ coat tails, it should actually find an audience. And if all else fails, Slater can come over from Dancing with the Stars (also on ABC) and have all the hostages fool the criminals by lip synching “When the Saints Go Marching In.” Scott Wolf will be right at home. Speaking of home, that might be where the Bengals end up this January, but not out of a lack of trying. The hardest AFC schedule has two tilts each with Pittsburgh and Baltimore, as well as road games in Kansas City, Tampa Bay, Indianapolis in Denver. Oh, and Carolina, Atlanta, and San Diego will be coming to town. How will they do? It will depend on the resurgence of The Nine: Carson Palmer. EDGE: The Nine

Cleveland Browns and Dancing with the Stars (ABC, Tue, 8:00) – Yes, because it’s a reality show and it has a brand new cast, we’re sliding Dancing with the Stars in here to help come up with 32 new shows. It’s funny with this show. For most audition-type talent reality contests, the exciting episodes are the early ones, where you can watch people screw up in front of a national television audience. Singing poorly, having stupid talents, and getting pummeled in boxing arenas – for some reason, that’s good TV. But with Dancing with the Stars – it’s only worth watching towards the end when they’ve weeded out the bad and left in the good. Why? Because bad dancing is ugly, no matter how famous you are. Oh, and by the way – Mario Lopez already has this season locked up. Here’s proof. As for the Browns, they’re clearly not the stars of the AFC North. In fact, they’re the only team that doesn’t stand a chance of making the playoffs. It’ll be another long season while Charlie Frye learns the system. EDGE: Dancing with the Stars

AFC South

Houston Texans and Friday Night Lights (NBC, Tue, 8:00) – Does it bother anyone else that Friday Night Lights isn’t airing on Fridays? You don’t see me at a Ruby Tuesday’s on a Sunday night, do you? The Texans tell it like it is – What are people that live in Houston? They’re Texans, damn straight. Last time I checked, the average height of a New Yorker is far from Gigantic, and not everyone in Tampa Bay enjoys the art of piracy. But Houston Texans? That’s a total truth. Ok, now onto the comparison. Friday Night Lights is the TV show based on a movie that’s based on a book that’s based on real-life events. (Note: the only step to take past a TV show is to do a version of Friday Night Lights using the art of mime.) Again, this one will lie in the writing. It has to walk a fine line between emulating all the good parts of the movie and the book and the real-life, but carve its own niche with new characters. And from early reviews, it looks like this one will be a winner. Wish I could same the same for Houston – but when you don’t upgrade an offensive line that let David Carr get sacked 68 times last year, that’s what happens. EDGE: Friday Night Lights

Jacksonville Jaguars and The Class (CBS, Mon, 8:00) – The best part of The Class that is if anyone can make a Friends-like ensemble cast comedy work, it’s probably the guy who created the ensemble cast comedy called Friends. David Crane is behind this clever comedy for CBS, which re-unites a third grade class twenty years later. 8 kids who grew up on the playground together are thrown together once again, walking all the walks like has sent their way. The Class has its set of crazy characters. You’ve got the supremely talented but glacially slow quarterback, the abnormally fast white guy who has become the number one receiving threat in only his second season, and the running back who gets injured putting on his uniform. Oh – wait a minute. Crossing TV and football has finally melted my brain. That last part is your 2006 Jacksonville Jaguars. EDGE – The Class

Indianapolis Colts and Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC, Mon, 10:00) – Holy crap, Aaron Sorkin is back. The genius of Sports Night meets the format of West Wing. Will it work? Has he got the right cast? Granted, I haven’t seen a single minute of this new show, set behind the scenes of an SNL-type show, but I couldn’t be more excited. Sorkin’s writing has always thrived on incredible precision and timing. And who better to relate that to in the NFL than the man at the helm of the Colts, one Peyton Manning. His ability to read defenses, throw to space, and know a gameplan make the Colts a perpetual title contender. (Note: he’s not bad on the comedy side himself, as his recent SportsCenter commercial exhibits) But the Colts are still missing a few pieces that will prevent them yet again from their title shot. The defense took a step backwards in the offseason, despite retaining Dwight Freeney and re-signing emerging LB Cato June. And the running game might take a year to make it back to Edgerrin James levels. As for Studio 60, they could win it all as the Best New Show. EDGE: Studio 60

Tennessee Titans and Survivor: Cook Islands (CBS, Thu, 8:00) - Yeah, it’s not a new show, but at least we’re at a new tropical island, right? Survivor, the sliding ratings juggernaut now back for its 83rd season has added a controversial new twist: tribes by race. That’s right – 4 teams of 5, and the only thing they have in common (other than a bloodlust to win a million dollars) is their ethnicity. Whites, blacks, Asians, and Latinos – divided for at least the first 4 days or so until Jeff Probst screws with their new alliances and re-picks teams by everybody’s favorite eighties wuss-rock band. (Boston? Styx? Journey? Toto?) Meanwhile, somewhere in Tennessee, a different survivor story is going on. Three quarterbacks battling to be the last surviving playcaller lining up behind center for the Titans this season. You’ve got the overconfident Billy Volek, who didn’t work hard enough in the off-season and yet feels entitled to start. Then there’s Kerry Collins, the seasoned vet who was brought in like 9 minutes ago to learn Jeff Fisher’s complex offense. And then finally, star draft pick Vince Young who is also working on that playbook – he never learned to read or write. EDGE: Survivor: Cook Islands

8 teams to go…