We Must Elect This House

Ok, we have to admit, we weren’t as excited about this year’s election as we were in 2004. In 2004, we covered the night’s results with a live blog, as well as unearthing the official application for admission to the Electoral College. If we were to ever put together a Top Ten Posts, these two are no doubt in the running. Do yourself a political favor and click thru.

So what’s different about Election Day 2006? First off, there’s isn’t a race to determine the leader of the free world for the next four years. In ’04, we had Bush and Kerry, and like the day where my co-worker tried use my electric sharpener to sharpen pencils when the power was out, the jokes can write themselves. That makes this round in the electoral ring the midterm elections. That’s right, MID-TERM. I know you’re shuddering just recalling the term from your high school days.

The only thing worse would be the 2006 Congressional AP Test Elections.

So, it’s the morning after, and the YABNews desk is a little hungover. We spent last night doing shots of punditry with CNN and FoxNews (they can hold their liquor.) And somehow we got a press pass to get on the attendee list for not one but TWO political parties. So as we stare groggily at the computer, we're taking stock of what will become the 110th Congress of the United States.

Well, we can’t exactly look at the Senate yet, since it looks like Virginia and Montana got so hammered that they left the bar without picking up their tabs, thereby leaving their credit cards behind. And who knows what got charged to their respective tabs once they left – so it looks like it’ll be a while before they can sit down with the bartender and re-count the evening.

But what become of the House of Representatives during last night’s festivities? After all, it’s the only organization that forces every single employee to beg for their job every two years. Some have gotten very good at it – Wisconsin’s Dave Obey won last night for the 19th consecutive time, making him the only Congressman who was in office when put a man on the moon. Upon his death, the good people of Wisconsin will replace him with Dave Obot – the representative android that Obey has been tinkering with in the Capitol basement for the last 37 years.

Last night, the Democrats took over control of the House of Representatives, picking up 28 seats with 13 races to still be determined. Those serious about reporting politics will attribute this win to the Republicans getting mired in the shadow of President Bush and his policies in Iraq. Across the country, Republican incumbents fell to their Democratic challengers in record speed. Hell, even former Redskins QB Heath Shuler got elected in North Carolina, much to the GOP’s dismay. (Rumor has it Jacquez Green will be his Chief of Staff.)

As the night progessed, not a single incumbent Democrat was in danger of losing their seats in Congress. Not only did this help the landslide, it made it clear that this election may have been less about the candidates and more about changing things up in Washington. But then, at about 10 last night, the harrowing news for the Dems came in. They might lose.

Not the election per se, but rather one incumbent Congressman in the great state of Georgia may manage to go upstream and ride against the tide of Democratic victory. This race is still to be determined as of this morning. This leaves experts everywhere confused – how can you possibly lose an election in which you can’t lose? YABNews investigates – now.

In District 3, the former mayor of Macon, Jim Marshall, went down to Mac Collins. This “Mac Collins” must be some candidate, considering he’s actually challenging for a new Republican seat, and at the same time, trying to take down James Marshall, whose political career includes a 7-year mayoral term and single-handedly fighting off a group of terrorists in order to regain control of Air Force one back in 1997.

So it looks like the Dems are in control. That is, at least until North Carolina benches Shuler for Rep. Danny Wuerffel.