Just Like "24"

8 minutes ago.

8 minutes ago, the peaceful buzz that is a busy office was altered by something that would on all other occasions blend harmoniously into the sweet sound that is commerce. Everyone who’s anyone has a desk telephone in this joint, and no one finds it strange when the phone chooses to ring every once in a while. Rings are usually limited to one or two – three at the most – before it drives the person in close proximity so batty that they have no other choice but to pick the damn thing up and converse.

9 minutes.

It’s been 9 minutes now that something just has not seemed right. Have you ever been standing in a public place such as a subway platform or outside a supermarket when one of the dying breed of pay phones inexplicably starts to ring? As you’ve seen in the movies, fugitives and poor people often use this outlet as a way to receive phone calls without, you know, actually having utility bills. But when neither demographic is around, and it’s you and the ringing phone and no one else, what have you done? To my recollection, I’ve only picked up a ringing pay phone that wasn’t meant for me. I was on GW’s campus between classes a few semesters ago, and the person on the other end demanded to speak with Josh. When I asked the guy to describe Josh, he told me, “He wears pants and shoes. Aw, never mind.” (Based on my attire, I guess I could have been Josh.)

11 minutes and counting.

It’s 11 minutes and counting, and it’s pretty staggering that no one has taken any action. Somewhere in this office, there’s a phone ringing. It’s not in the next office, but I can hear it and I can be annoyed by it. I’m pretty certain that this is some sort of telecommunications malfunction. At least I hope it is. Otherwise, it appears that the caller is the most persistent caller in the history of the world. Wow, he must have something pretty important to tell – wait, what? – the guy who occupied the abandoned vacant cube by the printer?

12 long, long minutes.

12 minutes in to this nightmare, I’m going to go check this out myself. Hang on.

14, yes, 14 minutes.

Yeah, I went over there. Yeah, it’s still ringing. I tried to turn the volume down on the phone, but to no avail. It wails on, and no one seems to care. Why did I not take any actual corrective action? Because NO ELSE HAS MOVED A MUSCLE. And I’m not going to playing the role of “over-sensitive cubevillian.” Not today anyway.

22 minutes!

I take that back. I sure as hell am.

Ahhhhhhhh. Much better.