Turning Words into Money

Yeah, it’s December 19th, and you’re reading this blog because you’ve given up eschewing work in favor of some last-minute online Christmas shopping. But there’s bad news on the horizon – now you’ve waited to long and if you need what you intend to purchase by Christmas, the requisite shipping has escalated to Two-Day Shipping. That free Super Uber Saving Shipping that Amazon is toting is free, yes, but guarantees you will absolutely have what you ordered by Epiphany. And while it was okay for the Three Wise Men to show up a few weeks late with belated gifts, your brother or sister probably doesn’t share in their wisdom. Any internet savings? Gone in the shipping, my friend.

But for those who seek a great last minute gift of inspiration and advice, may I recommend you head down to your local Barnes and Noble/Borders/local bookery and BUY MY BOOK. No, it’s not YAB: You’re a Hardcover, which has been shelved until someone restarts Blogbinders.com. Instead, it turns out that according to Amazon, I, Chris Condon, have written a book.

And I had no idea it even got published.

Kids write the craziest things in elementary school. They write book reports on Tom Sawyer and make the best research the World Book Encyclopedia has to offer seem like their own. They churn out short stories about soccer or horsies or dirt or pizza. I wasn’t like other kids. I didn’t write about soccer or horsies. I wrote –

Building Real Estate Riches
By Chris Condon

Yeah, I know I may lose some credibility since I don’t currently own A home, much less many homes to constitute a home portfolio. But hey, while other kids were eating paste and taking names, I was studying the ebb and flow of domestic real estate. I’d personally like to thank Amazon for doing such an excellent job recapping, summarizing, and promoting by book on their web page. Let’s look at some of the highlights, shall we?

First off, they’ve decided to price my paperback at 16.95, with a 0% discount. 0%? Come on, Jeff Bezos! The people demand home buying advice, and with a down payments and mortgages, cut them some slack. Okay, if you buy this book and show it to me, I’ll institute a $6.96 discount into your wallet – that’s how it should be.

(There are only 3 left in stock – damn, I must be good.)

According to the editorial review on the page, “Industry insider Chris Condon addresses the most critical step for investors--planning for resale through the entire process to maximize the number of potential buyers.” First off, I’d like to say it’s great to be considered an industry insider. I don’t think a whole lot of people in this industry know of my whereabouts, but that’s only because I’m REALLY inside. Hell, I’m an industry undergrounder. Secondly, I just can’t stress enough about maximizing your potential buyers. I feel while discount interested rates and move-in specials have some effect on this point, cupcakes always seem to do the trick.

Currently, I have the 398,527th best-selling book on Amazon.com. I’m coming for you, Obama.