The work environment can be a dangerous place.
It's Wednesday which means two things - it's Katie's birthday (b.a.e.), and I've got to get my class on tonight. Wednesdays are going to be very long this semester; rightfully so, it is the day with the most letters...(save Valentine's Day) On Wednesdays, as Iceman would say, "There's no time to think - you think, you're dead." There's also no time to pack apparently. I have to get my stuff in order the night before, sometime before I fall asleep in the brown chair. Otherwise, sleepy packing Chris doesn't bring the useful; he brings the funny. I went to a frisbee tournament freshman year at UMd with a backpack I packed on 45 minutes of sleep. I brought 8 pairs of socks and my roommate's stapler. Wow.
Once packed and out the door, I am a force to be reckoned with. Since I run in the morning, I leave the apartment wearing running clothes and sneakers. And while stuffing my dress shirt in the bag is tempting, it's not what we call "socially presentable" around the office. So on Wednesdays, you have got to the out of the way, or face the drywall-gouging consequences. I am armed with the following weaponry on Wednesdays:
- My leather shoulder bag
- My textbook-laden school shoulder bag
- My gym bag, with pointy dress shoe action
- My dress shirt, on its wire "Hangar of Doom"
- oh, and car keys.
Like I've mentioned before, the gym is in my building, so I enter the grounds with more protection than Mark Brunell will have this year from his O-line. And of course, to conserve space in a government contracting facility, the hallways aren't widest of corridors, so fellow employees need to be mindful of others coming from the other direction.
I have no such luxury. I'm packing textbooks.
I'm the hardest hitting employee short of Terry Tate. There's not any other option than for others to get out of the way of the Condon Express. Turning the corner in the parking garage and - CRACK - Ross in HR gets served. Walking through the tiny entry door and - POW - Becca from Contracts just lost her elbow. Stepping out of the elevator on 2, Keith from Construction tries to slide by, but - BIFF! - my gym bag floors him. There's nothing I can do about all this stuff, so I guess co-workers will just have to accept my hallway supremacy. Ok, almost to my desk.
If only House were still here, now THAT would be a battle.
3 comments:
It's Maverick who says you don't have time to think. Iceman says that's dangerous.
You have a leather shoulder bag?
Didn't Friends, which is the ultimate arbiter of fashion, determine a man bag, man purse, or murse, might lose you that coveted audition you've been waiting for?
Twice in the same show wonder: I'll take you at your word.
It's not a man bag. A man bag can be defined as such - if the area contained within the perimeter of the strap and top of the bag is SMALLER than the area of one side of the bag itself, then it's a man bag. When the area contained within the area of the strap is bigger than the bag, it's more of a briefcase.
Vanbenwhatnow?
Post a Comment