Alberto_Fedrigotti.xls

The title is in reference to a particularly appropriate episode of Sports Night, which is one of the best written sitcoms of all-time. Take the time and get the box set, you'll thank me later. Go ahead, I'll wait...

...ok, you can get it after you read all of my ramblings, but not any later. Aaron Sorkin's got a family to feed, too. In the aforementioned ep., the show is delayed while CSC carries the coverage of Pete Sampras, arguably the most dominant male tennis player of all time, and Alberto Fedrigotti, some guy Sorkin just made up. What should have been a 3 set walk for Sampras, turns out to be more than the Sports Night crew bargained for.

Jeremy: "Sampras is playing a first round match against a guy named Alberto Fedrigotti, who's ranked 178th in the world tennis standings and who Sampras should've easily finished off by now. Sampras won the first two sets in a walk and was up four-love in the third. The crowd filed out to the parking lot a half-hour ago. The match was over. Except nobody told Alberto Fedrigotti."

Meanwhile, back in August in McLean, VA, Chris Condon is tasked to do a cost analysis ("very top-level and basic") It's one of his larger undertakings in his year and a half with his department, and it will provide some good visibility to the head of Facilities in San Diego. The spreadsheet was to be completed, presented, and filed. Except nobody told that to the Spreadsheet.

Jeremy: "Now the thing is, we're suppose to go on the air at eleven, and if Fedrigotti holds his serve and forcesa new set, that means we've gotta hold for at least 45 minutes while Sampras makes this guy say 'uncle'. And nobody here likes to hold."

The spreadsheet is presented in late August, it all looks good, and Chris thinks that it can be put to rest and he can go back to doing his normal job. Except in a fleeting comment, the head of Facilities couples the pat on the back with a "What if we add X property to it - what will that do?" The work continues.

Jeremy: "In the control room, Dana was resigned to going up three or four minutes late to allow Sampras to closeout the match, but she just wasn't emotionally prepared for the thing to get thrown to a fourth set."

Version 2 of the spreadsheet is christened in late August. Chris is getting the sneaking suspicion that this could turn into a time-phasing analysis on top of a prospective cost analysis, but isn't ready to watch this small side project consume his life.

Jeremy: "I didn't see the forehand passing shot that Fedrigotti made to force the new set. Neither did Sampras."

Chris' fears came true when the spreadsheet became a cost estimation tool for not just his supervisor but the SAIC business unit up in Columbia. It's one of 53 of these units, and the spreadsheet is now serving as their own personal financial datawork. Uh oh. Why won't this thing just die?

Epilogue

Jeremy: "Fedrigotti lost his match as the whole world knew he would. But I wish you could've seent he look in his eyes when Sampras hugged him at the net. It was a sight to see."

It's now September 30th. The spreadsheet, 7 versions later, has gone from being a top-level exercise to the financial analysis that is about to be presented to the CEO by people much more important to me that we should spend about $28 million dollars for new facilities in Maryland. That's 28 minutes from now. And as far as I know, Alberto has hit the showers. What worries me is that the presentation is 28 minutes from now. Always time to come back out and hit a few more tennis balls.

Yikes.