Call it a scheduling error. These time management miscues occur when you're trying to do too many things at once. I'm not neccessarily speaking simultaneously, although I have contemplated trying to write my weekly paper for Human Dynamics while running on the treadmill (all it would require is the hiring of one of those London police guards who stand very still to hold my laptop in front of the treadmill while I type away on every other slow interval. Sounds expensive, but if there's anyway to lose pounds in a gym, it's by paying your laptop police guard in his local currency.) What I'm speaking about is stacking task after task after task in such a fashion that it eliminates the time that one would use to think about what he should be doing next. It should become a routine.
My dry cleaning routine is a lesson in personal finance. I currently am the proud owner of about 24 button-down shirts (one for each hour of the day) that make up my top-half wardrobe at work. And because the lobby shop downstairs in my building pays their rent directly to my department, I can enjoy the perk of getting said shirts dry-cleaned at only $1 a shirt. (That's a great deal!!! That's even better!!! I've got a brother?!?!? (Little Casears, 1994.)) Now if I were to take in shirts to the dry cleaners 5, 6 at a time, there's a good chance I'd rewear one of them before I get to the bench shirts waiting for their dream shot in my closet. That's 1 dollar I've wasted. Now if I wear ALL my shirts before dry cleaning them (save one to wear the day of dry cleaning submittal), then I get the most efficient return on investment, as I won't waste money on cleaning and wearing a shirt for an extra dollar when I've got the reserves. However, this infallible plan has its kryptonite: scheduling errors.
Such an error occurred last night. I was supposed to pick up my shirts before going to class last night. I was supposed to give myself time to do so before I entered Beltway Hell (Helltway?) I was supposed to bring them home with me and restock the closet. I was supposed to have clean shirts ready to go Thursday morning. I suppose I screwed up.
With me out of the shower, and my shirts already at work, I am faced with a crucial decision this morning on how to proceed with the dressing ritual. My options number five:
- Do nothing. Spend the entire day in dress pants and dress shoes, and see if anyone notices. Wear sunglasses to take the focus off of the lack of shirt. ANALYSIS - Tempting, but not feasible. I think I left my sunglasses at Katie's last weekend.
- Wear yesterday's shirt after giving it a good ironing. Wear a flashy tie to take the focus off any wrinkles you might have missed while watching Saved by the Bell this morning. ANALYSIS - This would be passable since the shirt looks just like the shirt you were planning to wear that's in the lobby shop vault. However, somehow you got blue pen on your shoulder (???) yesterday and as a result chances increase of getting called on your wardrobe malfunction.
- Pick another shirt from your closet, even if it's not a button-down. ANALYSIS - This choice would rely on Sleepy Chris to make a good decision in the morning. While a polo shirt would go well with the dress pants and shoes, the money's on him picking a Real Madrid soccer jersey (hey, it's got a collar) or a t-shirt (Senior Trip '98 rules!)
- Wear a jacket to zipped-up jacket to work, pick up the laundry, and change in the locker room before work. ANALYSIS - Had this happened yesterday, I would be cool with wearing a coat to work in September. It's gonna be 86 today, and that would seem suspicious.
- Go back to bed, this seems complicated. ANALYSIS - No analysis provided. I'd go back to bed, because devising an analysis seems complicated.
So that's where I am. Waiting by the computer for you all to vote on what I should do...Heck, at this point, I'd even accept other suggestions.
I hate scheduling errors.
5 comments:
My advice is Quit Your Job and find some place to work where you don't have a dress code... like at a sweatshop in Hong Kong. Then these problems would never come up and you'd be a happier man for it.
oh...AND I can't believe you had such a lack of trust in your readers... who DOESN'T know the old Little Ceasars commercial?? COME ON! There's a word for what I'm feeling right now...and I can't come up with it... the only thing coming to mind is "strategery" and I don't think that's right.
I have complete faith in the SHawnee Group to get the LC reference, thanks to the Tracktastic efforts of one James Maugham. However, others who may not have remembered this advertising gem and did not run sets of 8 200m trials with us in 1996 may be in need of the properly stated footnote.
First off, $1 per shirt is an amazingly good deal on dry-cleaning. I wish I was you. Second, because I'm curious, do the dry-cleaning people look at you funny when you bring in 23 shirts at once? Most people go with about 10 items max at a time, I bet. Third, I am uncertain as to whether your co-workers are completely oblivious or way too detail oriented. In option 1, they might not notice if you're shirtless. But in option 2, they'll notice the blue ink on the shoulder of yesterday's shirt and comment on it (Rude, much? I had my six sigma class with a girl we were pretty sure was wearing the same pair of pants every single day, and no one said anything about it . . . to her, at least).
That being said, I'll go with anything except you being shirtless guy. I can totally accept shirtless people at their homes or at the beach, or even in the office, but I am seriously bothered by people who drive shirtless. Ranks right up there with the head bob. Just no.
I had no idea dry cleaning was a topical hotwire. The first time I brought in 23 shirts they were taken aback. Waaaaay back. But it's business for them, and I bring them all in a big plastic bag with the count predetermined so they don't have to count them, so they like me. I think they normally charge 1.25 per shirt, but I get that sweet sweet discount.
I don't see a problem with the Real Madrid jersey at all. There's all kinds of justifications for wearing a Real Madrid jersey to work:
1. A lesson in return on investment. The obscene amounts of money Real Madrid pays David Beckham to play for them is made up by the obscene amount of money they're making selling merchandise, television rights, etc. You're in Finance, isn't ROI a basic business principle?!?
2. Human Dynamics. Beckham is human, dynamic, and (from what I hear) an excellent leader on the field. Who wouldn't want an employee who wears those ideals on his sleeve?
I wear my McNabb jersey to work every day-post-Eagles-win, though we're all a bunch of slobs at my office. I'd imagine things at SAIC are a bit more civilized.
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