Screw you, Ruby!

Because this Tuesday belongs to IHOP.

Tomorrow morning, the world will wake up to Ash Wednesday, which signifies the beginning of the Lenten season on the Christian calendar. As the clock strikes midnight tonight, many around the globe will participate in various forms of fasting, withholding, and penance, meaning many of the luxuries they are accustomed to will not be seen again until after Easter. YAB has thought long and hard about what it will give up as a hard-hitting divertainment webpage. And since we are weak-willed, we have finally settled on the following:

During Lent, YAB will not use the tilde (~) key on the keyboard. Phew. That’s a sacrifice for the ages.

But it is not yet Ash Wednesday, so we will also recognize today’s significance: it’s Fat Tuesday! (Even so, we will withhold a tilde explosion for syntax-sake.)

Yet, let’s dig a little deeper into the customs of Fat Tuesday. Of course, it signifies the end to Mardi Gras, Carnival, and the NHL’s Olympic work stoppage. Many of the vices and comforts that will be locked away come Lent enjoy a final 24 hours of gluttony on this day. In the olden days, (let’s say 15th century for all you historiphiles), milk and eggs were two items were given up for Lent.

(Secretly, cows and chickens LOVE Lent. It’s like their annual vacation.)

But as tradition would have it in many European countries, all of the milk and eggs would have to be used up on this Tuesday, since it would no doubt not last the entire 40+ days (Spam would have been another story.) So on the day before Ash Wednesday, the best way to blow through all of your remaining stock would be to make a dish that would require both in great quantities.

Pancakes.

As it is known in many countries, today is also Pancake Tuesday. And pancake market leader IHOP isn’t sleeping on the built-in marketing opportunity. If you go to your local International House, you can get a free short stack of ‘cakes on this day only. It is a well-know fact that IHOP as a chain gives up “cleaning the sticky syrup containers” for Lent, so you better get there fast.

IHOP as an establishment has always been a source of high comedy, and we’re not quite sure why. Sure, there was our story about how a bunch of older people hightailed it to the Manassas franchise back in June. But just think of the diplomacy involved with such an establishment. The United Nations has spent over 50 years trying to get everybody on the same page, but Security Council abstentions often divide and shatter the tenuous agreements of cooperation. There is no such strife at IHOP. Belgian waffles are totally cool with being on a serving tray with Swedish pancakes and French toast. And while we have no idea where the hell Rooty-Tooty-Fresh-and-Fruity hails from, we’re proud that more food fights haven’t broken out over boundaries, borders, or butter knives.

So on this Shrove/Fat/Pancake Tuesday, we here at YAB take off our collective caps and salute the banner of the international diplomacy organization that has created breakfast table peace and observes the sacred traditions of the Lenten season.

IHOP, we who are about to eat, salute you!