Dishwalla, Sort Of

(This is the second of three recently written parodies to commemorate Homecoming Monrovia '06. The subject matter? Loyal reader and resident Hoyaphile Jacques Arsenault. And despite bleeding Georgetown Blue, even he has no idea who would want to sex Mutombo.)

Thoughts on Jacques
Parody of “Counting Blue Cars”
Music by Dishwalla
Words by Chris Condon

Must have been 2003
I could tell by how Liz
talked all about him. She
said he’s from Rhode Island
Eagle Scout with a Mohawk
I had many questions
Like Grimm so often does
I said,

Tell me all your thoughts on Jacques
Can he play the bass guitar?

There I learned about the man
Who’s not French, despite what Liz made us think
He won an election
Just because of his facial hair
Celebrated
Most likely at the Tombs
I said,

Tell me all your thoughts on Jacques
Could he be a music teacher?
Instead of G-Town’s favorite son?
Tell me does he love the Sox?
Does he miss Pedro Martinez?
But probably not Johnny Damon --
Hippie get a haircut

She confessed she loved his ride
’88 white Ford Taurus was his pride
Their lives were changed
When he showed up, eventually
First encounter
At Walters’ barbeque

Tell me all your thoughts on Jacques?
Is he The Smart One or The Favorite?
In the Clan du Arsenault
Does he think the Beasties rock?
And how did Fraser get so wasted?
I guess that we will never know
We will never know now

(Tell me are you scared of sharks?)
(So much like that Jin from Lost)
(Tell me all your thoughts on Jacques)