Sister Hazel, Sort Of

(This is the third of three recently written parodies to commemorate Homecoming Monrovia '06. The subject matter? My wife. When trying to pen a parody about a relationship as broad and as detailed as the one you have with your spouse, you find yourself with enough material to write an album. Instead, you need to narrow that relationship and focus the song around just one aspect. That said, here's a song about my wife's "drinking problem.")

Starbucks High
Parody of Champagne High
Music by Sister Hazel
Words by Chris Condon

I still recall you on your twenty-first
(That) invite to Paul’s you extended to me
I showed and you glowed and
We rode that evening to a second date when I bought
This Reveille Girl a drink and now just to think
Here were are – five years later

And for the million Wawa runs we made
A large hazelnut coffee for you
I’ll have Gatorade
The flavor’s debated
For me there can be only one

I’ll have the Lemon Lime
Better than Orange, a word I can’t rhyme
Lemon-Lime, Liiiiiiiiime

Drinks turned to dating and dating proved hard
There’s only so much you can do in the ‘Burg
You came to my game and brought
Some halftime H-2-0 for the team
and while there isn’t a doubt
that we toasted Blowout
what’d you have? NORDBELLINI.

Remember our ice skating near the Mall
Baby I bribed you with hot chocolate
Since I made you fall
A modest proposal
Engagement that turned two to one

We’re on a Champagne High
Original words fit too well to revise
Champagne High
Here’s to our wedding and here’s to the Bride
On a Champagne High

Now we stand husband and wife.
Ever since those vows we spoke
And now everything, we’re in agreement
Like Pepsi, over Coke.

And for the million Wawa runs we made
A large hazelnut coffee for you
I’ll have Gatorade

We’re on a Starbucks High
Love you so much, but the stuff makes me cry
Starbucks High
You’re my Macchiatto, with bright hazel eyes
On a Starbucks High
Clara’s addicted by age eight or nine
Starbucks High