Being Polish in the Potato Runner

I wonder if you can use EZ-Pass in Sao Paulo.

Hi there. My name is Chris Condon, and I’m the one who brings the funny around these parts. I mention this not to remind those of you who frequently visit, but to introduce myself to the mammoth influx of readers from Brazil I expect to flood the YABbosphere any second now. Waiting…

…waiting…

You see, the good people of Brazil have recently been denied access to the viral video champsite You Tube because of a recent video of one of their supermodels appearing on the site. In response to such an “outrage,” one of Brazil’s two main telecom providers have demanded to have the site blocked from Brazilian eyes, and therefore, it has been done. Not only can the good people of this country not see Daniela Cicarelli (no relation to Dino), they cannot see the millions of other videos that You Tube has to offer. So they’ve got some free time on their hands, so we figured we’d put out the welcome mat.

I, for one, welcome our Ronaldinho overlords.

But while they may gain some Condon by reading YAB, they’ll lose some Condon by not getting access to Oscar Sunday, now surpassing the 20,000 view milestone. And we can’t deny hard-working Brazilians obscure Harper Lee references and Duck Hunt footage just because some telecom company is trying to shut us down.

Now you might remember back in September ’05 when we translated our vignette of Grimm’s Dinner Party into French as an homage – or to mock the French. By using freetranslation.com, we took our words, made them French, and then returned them to English, only to find that something happened along the way. We blame Zidanne.

Well we know that Oscar Sunday was in English, and the Brazilians – they speak the Portuguese. So as a favor to them, here’s the actual transcript of Lyric Intensive hardcore flow – translated to Portuguese and back into English. Enjoy.

Sunday of oscar, wakes up-itself beside my Chris of boy
Slants about real soft and gives him. .. To hammerfist double!!
We better we receive to move. The party of oscar this night.
Should go sees Brokeback be five for five.
We caused saints cattlemen but not as book-reason and Gyllenhaal
We kick he straightly like Eastwood in Unforgiven,
Is playin in Manassas. Better running as Forrest.
I love these prizes as Kapowski loves Morris.

Dillon of Matt, Ludacris, Calf of Sandra, Fraser of Brendan!
The Shock of clinch and my keys.
Polish in the Runner of Potato.
We should receive the big film Success bun soon
Dude, his already afternoon is as ten past noon.
They do done not stay delayed rates, (we be able to come back later)
Is able to Him even sees the road? It can call me Aviator
As we gonna receives there? The Road of Toll of Dulles, sucka!
I Go him, you stayed exact change?
The PASSAGE OF EZ, F OF MOTHER*CKER!!

So welcome to (WHERE!) to the Oscar Broken
Brings some sustenance (WHERE!) to the Oscar Broken
Chris and Luda (WHERE!) in the Oscar Broken
Potato and Buddha (WHERE!) in the Oscar Broken

The Friday, we haul a mistake of drug in Lands of Potomac
That weak theater stayed as guards of security
We snuck in the back and 40s brought with us
Liquor of Malt and Munich equals Crazy Delicious
Road good night and Good Luck in the 'last fax night
Did think him that was patient?
The Nah, was in black and white.
I freaked up the usher, somewhat wrong with the projector.
And the chick said, "Whoa, who am I, the inspector of film?"

Punched him in the grill? The Slappin' ain’t of bitches
Throwin' popcorn in his face, stole the flashlight of the chick.
If you cannot derive that as, you better is robbin' a.
It can call us Lee of Harper, of the environment we are killin' tordos-dos-remédios.
It liked Overcoat? The Nah, I do not like of white persons.
This is the CHURCH and this is the TOWER.
The exposition about begin, jump outside and receive the tickets.
The Watchin' everybody them nominated, then our choices are the more sick.

We are rules of gonna! (WHERE!) in the Oscar Broken
You stayed polite! (WHERE!) in the Oscar Broken
You count on with OP-3? Yes knows me!
Receive to OP-3! Everybody five nominated!