Discretionary Spending

First, let's tie up yesterday's post. As far as I know, Version 7 of Alberto Fedrigotti was the lucky one, since it's been almost 24 hours, and I have not been asked the reinvent the wheel for the eighth time. Word is that SAIC is going to spend $28 million dollars on my recommendation ... err ... number crunching, so it seems that this little exercise in absurdity was worth my time.

Now that we're backing down from "Defcon Bang-head-on-desk" to Defcon "Gently-tap-head-on-desk", some of the protocol of the week can be abandoned. One such procedure was my 9am bottle of Mountain Dew. Apparently, when the important people (for humorous spin we'll refer to them as "yard gnomes.") ask point blank questions on your calculations, it is helpful to be awake at the time of expected answer. That's why I was slammin' a Dew every morning this week. And since there has been no yard gnomes in my office this morning, I can forgo the rush of lemony-limey-carbonatey-what-does-this-stuff-taste-like-anyway caffeine in the morning. Which only means one thing: I have money to burn!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!

That's right, Pepsi Co. is no longer getting my morning donation to the "Keep Sierra Mist Fiscally Solvent" fund. I have money this morning that I didn't have yesterday morning, so I am in the market for, well, stuff. And having realized this on the way to work, I kept an eye out for deals. "Hey, look, Merrifield Garden Center is actually having a sale on yard gnomes. How...coincidental!"

With out a deal in sight, I pulled into the parking garage with my Dewcash in hand. How am I supposed to do my civic duty by helping the economy if I end up at work without spending this clearly discretionary funding?

But then I saw IT. As if a spotlight was shining down from the heavens, the one thing God was telling me I need to purchase right here and right now. After all, signs never lie.

Sign on the side of the item:
1991 Plymouth Voyager LE - Great Condition! New VA inspection, registration, 93k miles. $1,800 Firm!

I don't know about you, but this might be wear the cash has to be spent. This van is Firm! I mean, Firm!, which must be the highest compliment someone can pay to a van with the awesome fake wood paneling. (They call 'dem racin' stripes.) And the one thing I'm short on right now is time, so I'm not going to have to spend time getting it inspected and registered, so that's pretty sweet. And while some may call the faded blue paint job, "weathered," I like to see it as "brushed retro." I also saw that it's got an ice scraper. Talk about a deal clincher. It's a tool created to "scrape some ice." Man, I bet a yard gnome couldn't come up with that in a million years.

(doing the financial calculations)
(while Danger Zone goes through my head)
(everything seems more important now)

With my saved soda money, it appears I am going to be a little short. I'm going to contact the seller (unless this van really did come from God, then I'm going to see something in a "hunter green".) and see if I can talk him down to a buck ten.

(re-reads blog)

Conclusion (a la John Mayer): "Must be a quarter-life crisis, or just a stirring in my soul."