But it is the little things that make you laugh…
Today, being my last day at work before I take a much-needed vacation, started as normally as it always does. I got to my desk, knocked out an issue or three, left some phone messages for those on the West Coast who feel that “time zones” give them an excuse to still be sleeping, and then I got hungry.
Even though I’ve lived in the new apartment for two weeks, and said apartment is immediately next to Wegman’s, I haven’t found the time or need to go grocery shopping yet. Who knew planning a wedding was so hectic?
Oh, that’s right. EVERYBODY.
And thus, my stomach informed me it was time to go down to the cafeteria for a mid-morning breakfast snack. This trek is often uneventful, and this particular instance was proving little exception. I’m on the second floor, so I feel guilty taking the elevator to go down one lousy flight. Total Overkill. That would be the equivalent of me hailing a Boeing 737 to get to class in Alexandria. And had I taken an elevator, I would not have found the inspiration for today’s blog. After all, Blog works in mysterious ways.
Turning instead to the stairwell, I did what I often do going down winding stairs. As long as there isn’t anyone coming, I am known to put my hands on the handrails (makes sense) and take Grawp-like bounds down the steps. I can literally cover one floor in one swing. It’s impressive. But kids, don’t try this at home. Or at work. You’ll get caught.
I, with my cat-like intuition, never get caught. But today, I almost sounded the alarm when I practically landed on one of those hazard yellow caution stands. Narrowly avoiding it, I read the “CAUTION: WET FLOOR” warning with a sigh of relief, firm footing, and out the door I went to get my bagel and Mt. Dew.
But on the way back is where it turned…odd. As I re-entered the stairwell, the yellow warning stand was still there. However, there was something strange about it, now that I was looking at the back side. Most of these tents can be depended on to have the same words of caution on both sides – mirror images benefit both directions. But not this particular stand on this particular day. On the flip side, it imparted these words of warning to yours truly:
CAUTION ________ FLOOR
Ok, people. One of two things is going on here. It is possible that the B side also at one point displayed the word “WET,” and had merely been scratched off for reasons unknown. But then again…
CAUTION: FLOOR!
That’s right, stair users. Beware of the floor! We don’t want you to be nervous about you final step to the bottom level being wet, hot, slippery, or cracked. We just want you to know that you have no more steps to go – for you have reached the FLOOR! You will not, I repeat, WILL NOT, fall to the center of the Earth, for we have installed a FLOOR! You should feel safe in the knowledge that the architecture of this particular location comes complete with a lower horizontal plane. Just be conscious!
Okay, fine. No more morning Mountain Dew for Condon.
2 comments:
You sure you haven't missed out on a bunch of wild, crazy SAIC finance parties? I would certainly want to be warned if I was about to step foot on a dance floor with a bunch of accountants...
Wow, I've never thought how weird the word "floor" looks. Flor, that's all you need. The extra o is superfluous. That being said, we must also fix words such as "dor", and "mor" and "bor", "por". I'm not a gose, I'm a goose.
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